The room mate's gone again. At least, I think she is... her bedroom door is shut, the smoke smell is (for the most part) no longer hanging in the air. I know this probably sounds totally lame but I'm too nervous to knock on her bedroom door to see if she's in there. Is that totally wimpy or what? Yesterday was awkward! I mean, what a weird situation. She owns this place, not me! So what right do I have to make her feel unwelcome in her own home? The bottom line is, I don't have that right at all. And yet, I shouldn't have to come home to a 50 year old room mate who's shit-faced either. I mean, ew. That's just gross, you know? When she tried to talk to me, I was polite but very distant. I really don't know what the social rules are for a situation like this. I mean... are there any? I just couldn't think of anything to say when she started in with her "so how are ya?" 's. When she's drunk, she asks me that every five minutes. The dialogue goes a little something like this:
Roomie: "So how are ya?!"
Me: "Uh... I'm okay, thanks; you?"
Roomie: "Drunk!"
...pause...
Roomie: "You're not used to having a room mate, are you?"
Me: "Hm? What do you mean?"
Roomie: "Oh you know, having someone else in the house. You like being alone, don'tcha?"
Me: "No...no... I've had room mates before..."
Roomie: "Oh really? Cause you seem uncomfortable with me *hic* being here"
Me: "Oh... no. I'm just... you know... not used to having someone who's always drunk around."
Roomie: "Ah."
...pause... room mate blows smoke into center of living room
Roomie: "So really. How the hell are ya?"
Me: "Still fine, thanks. You?"
Roomie: "Drunk off my asssssss!"
and so on. So to avoid that whole thing, I just gave a two-word answer last night: "fine, thanks," and went back to what I was doing. Part of me thinks, "man, I hope I wasn't being too rude," and another part of me thinks, "why the heck am I even worrying about whether or not I'm being rude???" I guess old people-pleaser habits are hard to break sometimes.
Anyway, for now, the home seems quiet and peaceful, which works for me. Phew!
Subject change! You know what? I love when people get mad at me for no good reason. My ex wants to pick up our daughter, who's been spending the week with me, two hours early. Now, this is the same guy who asks for extra weekends and says he'll make it up to me and then, when I ask for my make-up time with our daughter tells me he has no idea what I'm talking about. So in response to his request, can I get a big "hell no!" from the choir?? I was nice, though. I sent him an email and said, "I'm confused... isn't your pick up time xxx o'clock?" Here's where it gets funny. My ex's wife's kids (confusing to follow, I know) like me. When the ex told his wife that I wasn't on board with the picking our daughter up two hours early thing, his wife got a bee in her bonnet and started stomping around, telling her kids that I'm a big idiot. They immediately texted my daughter telling her what their mom was saying. Hooray! I love the name calling! And I'M the idiot? Pfffff!
I am keenly aware that I am apparently babbling almost incessantly right now. Lo siento. I am really quite tired - today was a good day but a long 'un and I desperately need sleep. I thought about shirking my promise and skipping a day of writing but then I said to myself, "No! You said you'd do this journaling every day for one year, now get up and get it done!" So. This entry ain't pretty but they can't all be gems. The main thing is that I did it. Yay me!
That is all. Good night, whoever you are.
xxx
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