Today, I began earnestly working on my second blog after making my rounds visiting the street people of Chicago and meeting a few new folks.
First, a little update on this past week. I downplayed things big time after last Sunday. I'd been out on the street with a sidewalk outreach ministry group and, when I got home, emotionally drained, a few people on a message board I belong to (Yelp) had made some incredibly hurtful comments, saying that my actions would be much more thoughtful if I was genuinely humble instead of bragging about myself. Normally, I wouldn't be hugely phased by the ugliness but, this time, I was crushed. I think it had something to do with being so tired, so sore and so cold.
Well. The bad news was that I was sad. I cried (ugh, I hate that). I'd like to say I got over it but the truth is, it still stings a little when I think about it.
However! The *GOOD* news is this: I received an outpouring of support from some wonderful members of the site. I received more emails than I could keep up with and have received donations, offers of help and just general encouragement. I was blown away by the kindness of so many people and, dork that I am, I probably cried in front of each of them when we met face to face! haha! Oh well, I'm an emotional Irish-Italian American woman. I come by my emotions honestly!
As I mentioned, after today's excursion, I began my new blog that is purely for the street people I've met. At the moment, it's only got a bio for a few folks but I have several more that I need to add. Please take a moment to read the blog (or at least skim it) and I hope you will be able to see why these people mean so much to me. Here you go: Magnanimous Beauty
Last but not least, please, please keep the dragon man in your thoughts and prayers. He's caving again and I miss him terribly! And when he comes back out of his cave, I'm going to kick his German butt if he even tries to tell me that he doesn't have seasonal affective disorder! *stubborn redhead face*
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Post 55 - Magnanimous Beauty
Say what? what the heck does "magnanimous beauty" mean, anyway? Magnanimous beauty is something that comes from within and radiates outward. I hope you get the gist of my message when I talk about the beauty and joy I see on the streets, even in this bitter weather.
Yesterday, I went downtown carrying my bright, pink bags loaded with socks, trail mix and baggies. I also had a few hats that had been donated, two gorgeous, thick ladies' coats (also donated) and 15 (!!) vouchers for free coats at a Salvation Army store! Add to that more baggies (extremely helpful for keeping necessary ID papers dry and keeping socks separated/dry when one only has two pair of socks to his or her name), hand warmers and a dozen more pair of socks (all donated) and I was ready to go!
I really wasn't sure what to expect with such high winds and snow. The city really does try with limited resources to help by having warming centers open on days where the weather is nightmarish but, even so, there were still many people out on the streets. Thankfully, I met up with a team of friends from the suburbs. The group of six begins to make its way down the street. We meet a man named Ron. When I ask, "hey! need some socks?" he wordlessly lifts the leg of his pants to show me his shoes filled with holes....and no socks on his feet. We see Willy - he's been on the street for 10 years. Know what he wants for Christmas? Long underwear in extra extra large. That's all. Although we were sad that we didn't get a chance to visit with Scooter, we were glad he was in out of the cold, even for a day. We walk further and see some of the regulars. Mo grins and says, "What? No love for the big girls?" when we paw through our bags and see that there's no coat in her size. I hand her a voucher and tell her how to redeem it. Mo tells me she just got into interim housing and she's so excited to have a bed to sleep on. She doesn't have a pillow or a blanket but she is grateful for a bed! As our group walks away with waves and hugs, I holler to Ronnie (who I'd just given toothpaste at his request, even though I forgot to bring deodorant), "take care of each other - I'll be back as soon as I can with deodorant and blankets!" My suburban friends won't be able to make it back into the city until january but I'll be back next week with long johns for Willy and a blanket for Mo........and, of course, more socks.
I ate dinner with an elderly gentleman named hank who I'd seen shuffling down the street. he hadn't eaten in several days. I sat with him and listened as he told me about how you learn pretty quickly to stay awake at night and keep moving so your body temperature won't drop too low. I was told that, while you might get out of the cold a while by hopping on the L-train if you can, don't dare fall asleep or you'll be cut and what little you own will be stolen.
That's generally how these days go. Lots of walking in all sorts of weather meeting many people who never dreamed they'd be living on the streets. My attitude is the same each time I go out. If these people are surviving outside in this weather, it won't kill me to walk around for a few hours doing what I can to help.
Speaking of help, many, many people have been asking what they can do. First things first: THANKS!! If you wish to donate items of clothing, the greatest needs are for socks and gloves! Feet and hands get cut, especially if they're not protected. The cuts get infected. People lose fingers and toes or more. I can't say it enough: socks, socks, socks. And gloves, especially in bigger sizes. hand warmers. fresh fruit. long underwear. ready-to-eat nonperishables (I bring granola and trail mix). Even as I write this, please know that any donation is received with gratitude.
Ah. And speaking of donations, while monetary donations are accepted, I do ask that you allow me to give you a receipt for your generosity.
Last but not least, there have been a small handful of hateful remarks about the possibility that I am only doing this to seek praise. At first, this really made me sad but then an important thought occurred to me: I know my intentions. What's more, God knows my heart. As long as those two bases are covered and as long as people are getting out there and helping if they feel it's something they should be doing, that's ALL that matters. Fini!
Be blessed and be a blessing wherever you can, friends. My love to you all!
Kelley
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Post 54 - Lady, You've Got Some Explaining To Do
...and I do have an explanation!
Okay, first, where have I been, right? I'm here, I'm here! And I'm still working out diligently, although, due to scheduling conflicts, Zumba has had to be put on the back burner for a while. I still check in with Christa and the amazing folks at Dance Spa every few weeks... I miss those guys like crazy and, if you want to get up, get out and FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF, then GO; you won't regret it! Since my schedule is wacky and looooong, I've committed myself to walking five miles or more every, single day. So far, I've lost almost 40 lbs!!
Next (and this is big stuff), I have become committed to the "forgotten people." Who are these so-called forgotten people I'm talking about? They're the men, women and youth living on the streets of Chicago. Guys, there are people all over this world who are homeless with no place to go (not by choice). I'm not on some mission to make myself look good to others and I know better than to have some crazy delusions about saving the world with unicorns and butterflies, but I do feel an intense burden on my heart to do whatever I can to help as many of these people as I can get through just one more day, one day at a time. And then another day. And then another. One day at a time.
So what does that mean exactly? Well, there are many amazing organizations, groups, ministries, etc. out there doing everything they can. But even so, there there are literally thousands and thousands of people who fall through the cracks. These people are usually the quiet ones sitting in corners trying not to draw attention to themselves because they don't want the police to arrest them for loitering or for looking suspicious. These people couldn't care less about the newest fashion trends or what china to use at the holiday dinner table. They are overwhelmingly grateful for dry socks or gloves to help their skin keep from cracking open and bleeding. They don't even care whether or not the items are new. They just hope for something dry and, if it's not too much trouble, without too many holes.
I go out at least once a week and walk around the city with my big, bright pink bag filled to the top with clothes I buy from thrift stores: jackets, scarves, socks, hoodies... whatever I can afford and whatever I can carry. I bring a second bag that I fill with single packets of instant coffee (a luxury if they can find hot water), almonds, granola, fresh fruit, instant noodle meals and my homemade cornbread pancakes. My second bag is insulated so that everything stays warm. Warm cornbread with honey - pure bliss.
Even though I bring as many tangible items as I can when I make my rounds, wanna know what I'm thanked for the most often? My time. I sit a while and chat with these people. No barriers, no "invisible wall" or anything. I just sit down with them as equals and spend time with them. And I learn humility, grace, and joy. I've been thanked for treating them as humans -as if that deserves thanks! Shouldn't everyone be treated that way regardless of what they have or where they live?? Who are any of us to assume that we're somehow better than these people simply because we have roofs over our heads and running water?? Last week, I met a woman named Sheena who'd been kicked out of her senior apartment. A homeless man named Miller came to Chicago to care for his sick mother. When she passed away, there was no money left for him to get home. He's been on the street for two months. When we met, he hadn't eaten in three days. I met people from other countries who'd sold everything they owned, bought airline tickets and moved here hoping for new lives. I met a man named Jim who's trying to get home to see his daughter. I met a business man who lost everything. The point is, these people matter. Every single one of them is a real, live, thinking, dreaming, hurting person. They're not lazy pieces of trash to awkwardly avoid or look at with contempt while we're scurrying around to get the latest deals at Macy's. The next time you're out shopping on State Street (or Michigan Avenue or anywhere else), I challenge you to look a homeless person in the eye and say hello.
I've been keeping a journal of my experience. Just me, my bright, pink bag, and my camera for documenting everything.
And now I'm going to make a request that I've never made before. See that gold Paypal button to the right that says "donate?" Please, please, please make a donation. It doesn't have to be much. $8 buys a thrift store coat. $6 buys a sixpack of socks. Heck, even $1 or $2 pays for a pair of sweatpants to layer under jeans or a pair of knit gloves! Any little bit goes a long, long way.
Be good to each other, okay? Just like these wonderful people I've met on the streets, you all matter.
Love you bunches,
Kelley
Friday, September 17, 2010
Post 53 - It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
My mother and I. Phew, there's an epic novel in those four words! We've had ups and we've had downs - what do you expect when you have two, brilliant, head-strong women - one highly assertive (my mother) and one outwardly passive but inwardly assertive (me) - in one, small family?
You know, there's been lots of big drama in my extended family (really, who can't say the very same, right? I propose an amendment to thesauruses everywhere. Families = drama). So much so that several years ago, I made the painful choice to love my family from a very big physical and emotional distance. And I pointed a great, big finger of blame at others. I think, as time goes by, I'm maturing and I'm finally, finally beginning to see my family through the eyes of a wise woman instead of those of a scared kid. I wish I'd matured on this a little sooner but I guess things happen when they're supposed to happen and not a minute sooner.
I heard from my mom last Friday. It was in response to blog post 51. All she said was this:
Anyway.
My point is this. I finally understand that she was just a human doing the best she could to raise a very energetic baby who grew into an incredibly precocious little girl who then grew into a scared-to-death teenager who thought everyone was "only being nice - they don't really mean it" when they fawned over her talents... who then became an unbelievably insecure young woman who blamed all of the world's injustices on everyone around her while she jumped from one emotionally abusive relationship to another...
...who is now the (slightly wiser) woman before you, finally seeing the world and the people in her life with open eyes and an open heart. I've got a lot more growing to do but I can finally say with confidence that I have come a long way. And I love my mom, flaws and all. Just as I know she loves me in spite of mine.
You know, there's been lots of big drama in my extended family (really, who can't say the very same, right? I propose an amendment to thesauruses everywhere. Families = drama). So much so that several years ago, I made the painful choice to love my family from a very big physical and emotional distance. And I pointed a great, big finger of blame at others. I think, as time goes by, I'm maturing and I'm finally, finally beginning to see my family through the eyes of a wise woman instead of those of a scared kid. I wish I'd matured on this a little sooner but I guess things happen when they're supposed to happen and not a minute sooner.
I heard from my mom last Friday. It was in response to blog post 51. All she said was this:
"I always knew you were a phenomenal girl/woman. Just never knew how to convey that to you : ( "and in that instant, I realized how bewildered my mother, at only 18, must have been trying to raise me. With an IQ of 165, I was much more than just a handful. That woman had to coax me from the roof of a 2-story building when I was 15 months old (I'd somehow managed to climb up to and out of the open skylight above me when I was supposed to have been napping). She had to entertain me after I'd taught myself to read with books and a Scrabble board at age 3. And I don't know how she ever got any sleep - I certainly never slept more than three hours at a stretch (a life long habit that's still with me). I was an accomplished flautist by age 15 and then, a few short years later, a teen parent. And that's barely even giving a passing nod to the tip of the iceberg - as someone recently observed, my life has been quite the after school special. My God, how that woman didn't end up in a psych ward is beyond me.
Anyway.
My point is this. I finally understand that she was just a human doing the best she could to raise a very energetic baby who grew into an incredibly precocious little girl who then grew into a scared-to-death teenager who thought everyone was "only being nice - they don't really mean it" when they fawned over her talents... who then became an unbelievably insecure young woman who blamed all of the world's injustices on everyone around her while she jumped from one emotionally abusive relationship to another...
...who is now the (slightly wiser) woman before you, finally seeing the world and the people in her life with open eyes and an open heart. I've got a lot more growing to do but I can finally say with confidence that I have come a long way. And I love my mom, flaws and all. Just as I know she loves me in spite of mine.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Post 52 - Rough day but muddling along
It's Saturday and, even though I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry this morning while hiding from the world, I got up and went to Zumba. And yes, as usual, I'm glad I went. For one hour, I fill my mind with music and movement and, for that one hour, everything else just sort of disappears. Would you believe today was actually the day that I *didn't* look at the clock more than I *did?* True story. I also stuck around for the ab lab class afterward. My abs felt like they were on fire. At one point, I thought, "I don't want to do this - I can't do it!!!" but then another voice in my head said, "FIGHT IT - DON'T GIVE UP" so I did. I got angry and (inwardly) a little tearful and I kept going.
This is one of my favourite songs we dance to - it's called Galactic Blues by Don Omar and it is HOT! Hope you like it, too :)
I did title this post "rough day but muddling along" for a reason. The fact is, I'm having another difficult day. I miss Marc more and more with each passing day. Not knowing whether or not he's alright is so scary. I finally pulled out the big guns and contacted someone for help today. If everything's okay, Marc will probably be pretty unhappy but I think he'll understand as well. I try really hard to be low-key about his depression but when he's gone this long without contacting me, I have to do whatever it takes to make sure he's safe. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd much rather have him be alive and angry with me than the alternative, you know?
Well let's see. I've exercised, tidied my tiny little apartment and taken the dog for a walk. I really don't want to go to the German festival but maybe, after a nap and a shower, I'll go head out for a little live band karaoke. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just stay in tonight and watch a couple of movies.
Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you're having an amazing weekend.
Love to you all,
Kelley
This is one of my favourite songs we dance to - it's called Galactic Blues by Don Omar and it is HOT! Hope you like it, too :)
I did title this post "rough day but muddling along" for a reason. The fact is, I'm having another difficult day. I miss Marc more and more with each passing day. Not knowing whether or not he's alright is so scary. I finally pulled out the big guns and contacted someone for help today. If everything's okay, Marc will probably be pretty unhappy but I think he'll understand as well. I try really hard to be low-key about his depression but when he's gone this long without contacting me, I have to do whatever it takes to make sure he's safe. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd much rather have him be alive and angry with me than the alternative, you know?
Well let's see. I've exercised, tidied my tiny little apartment and taken the dog for a walk. I really don't want to go to the German festival but maybe, after a nap and a shower, I'll go head out for a little live band karaoke. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just stay in tonight and watch a couple of movies.
Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you're having an amazing weekend.
Love to you all,
Kelley
Friday, September 10, 2010
Post 51 - I'm going through one of those, "when life hands you lemons, screw the water and sugar; where's the freakin' vodka?" phases
*sigh*
Okay, so clearly, I've been away from my blogging promise for entirely too long. I've really been contemplating how to approach this overdue entry. I think I'm going to stray from my upbeat and fun norm and just lay it on the line. Here's what's going on:
My boyfriend - the guy I love more than life - is dealing with depression. Heavy duty depression. And since we're muddling through a long-distance relationship, there are unique challenges. When he goes into his dark stages, I call it "hiding in his dragon cave." These cave-dwelling phases can last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Some days, I feel like I'm in an ultimate endurance competition. Currently, he's been "in hiding" for seven weeks - this is a new record and I can't begin to describe the things that go through my mind: Has he changed his mind and just can't bring himself to tell me? (unlikely) Has he met someone new? (equally unlikely - he's an extremely straightforward guy) Is he in a coma somewhere? Or worse, has he decided to end it all and no one's discovered his body? Is he still caving? Did he not pay his internet bill and he no longer has internet access? If so, why the HELL hasn't he found a way to contact me? Add to that the complication that he's isolated himself from local family and friends (not uncommon for people suffering from depression). I have no one to contact to make sure he's safe. Talk about terrifying. I haven't heard from him since 25 July. Each day that passes by without word is like a tiny little death.
My only options are to wait it out or throw in the towel. Of course, I'll wait but you wouldn't believe how many people have said "move on." I just don't understand that. I need support - I need to feel like I have friends in my corner, you know? - and I do NOT need people to tell me to give up and walk away. Anyone who knows me ought to know by now that there is NO WAY I'll give up on someone I love. That's just not my nature. It never has been and it absolutely never will be. I love Marc more than life and I refuse to give up on him or on us. He needs to see a doctor. Depressed people do not tend to take the initiative in making that first, important move toward help. He is also gripped by the social stigma that is so prevalent in Germany about seeing a therapist. It's simply not done there. Unless one is willing to be branded as "loony" for life. Doing this all in a long distance relationship is exhausting. I am so ready for him to get here to the USA. Currently, I'm checking out a few support groups for partners of people who are dealing with depression. And I do have a few friends who have been in Marc's shoes - hearing their perspectives has been immensely helpful. So a shout-out of gratitude to Caroline, Pat, and Kathy for their help.... guys, I don't know what I'd do without your insight and support : )
Here's a link to help you understand what we're going through:
Suffering In Silence: When Your Spouse Is Depressed
And here's an excerpt from the above link that sums up how I feel:
For better or for worse, I'm in. And that's not negotiable.
On a positive note, I'm still exercising and it's really starting to show. Work is thriving so Zumba's a little hit and miss due to conflicting schedules but, even on days when I can't get to class, I still make sure I get in at least five miles of walking. In fact, last Saturday, I actually walked almost 10 miles in one day! Sweet, huh?
I do still grouse about some of the "jumping" dances in Zumba. And yes, I still watch the clock, although, if you've been following along from the beginning days, you'll be happy to hear that, this past Wednesday, I actually went almost 15 minutes before sneaking a look at the clock (true story). And would you believe that when I finally did, Christa (Dance Spa Owner, Christa South) caught it and called me out on it???? *glare of indignation* Here's how it went down:
Me: (sneaking look at clock 10 minutes before class is over)
Christa: (shouting over the music) "I saw you look at the clock, Kelley!!!"
Me: (under breath: damn it; I thought I was in stealth mode) "Hahaha! You saw nothing!"
Christa: "Ha!"
Me: (sheepish grin) "Ugh, okay, okay! You caught me!"
And, of course, I'm glad I went. Christa practically had to drag my listless ass to class herself but I did feel better and less sad about missing my beloved "dragon cavedweller" after I'd jumped around and hyperventilated to latin music for an hour.
Also, work is going very well. I love my client families more and more each day, plus I'm networking like crazy. I've also taken on a side project that I am REALLY excited about: my friend, Caroline, happens to be the most amazing pastry chef I've ever met and she's starting her own business, Coo Coo Confections. She has this eye for detail that is absolutely unreal - click here to check out her hand painted butter cookies. Seriously - she creates designs for and hand paints her cookies but here's the crazy thing. You know how most bakeries that do custom cookies usually have really pretty cookies that taste... okay? Or pretty good? Or bleah-but-hey-they're-pretty? Caroline spent hoursandhoursandhoursandhours and then more hours perfecting her blend of cookie and frosting flavours so that her cookies actually taste even better than they look. And that's saying a LOT. Because her cookies look almost too pretty to eat. Look at these cookies she made for my friends and me "just because" last weekend:
Aren't they beautiful? Like I said, they taste even better than they look!! But here's the thing. She also does unbelievable, mouth-watering chocolate chip cookies. And brownies. And cakes. And and and... the list goes on. And yes, I *know* my blog is about losing weight, getting fit, and staying healthy. But I truly believe you can enjoy the decadent goodies (like Caroline's amazing cookies) in moderation. I had one cookie. Just one. And it was enough to send me to heaven for the day! (PS - I don't think Caroline has set up her online store yet but she ships orders nationwide. just sayin'. You can probably contact her via the link I provided; if that doesn't work, let me know....................................and you're welcome in advance because, believe me, you'll thank me when you try her goodies.)
Alright, I guess I've updated you enough for now. I hope you are well. I've missed you all. And thank you to those of you who've written or stopped me when you've seen me to ask why I haven't given an update. Now you know. Yes, I'm okay (mostly). Just a little blue because I miss my dragon man very, very much. He'll be back and, when he is, I'll be my usual self again, I promise. : )
My love to you all,
Kelley
Okay, so clearly, I've been away from my blogging promise for entirely too long. I've really been contemplating how to approach this overdue entry. I think I'm going to stray from my upbeat and fun norm and just lay it on the line. Here's what's going on:
My boyfriend - the guy I love more than life - is dealing with depression. Heavy duty depression. And since we're muddling through a long-distance relationship, there are unique challenges. When he goes into his dark stages, I call it "hiding in his dragon cave." These cave-dwelling phases can last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Some days, I feel like I'm in an ultimate endurance competition. Currently, he's been "in hiding" for seven weeks - this is a new record and I can't begin to describe the things that go through my mind: Has he changed his mind and just can't bring himself to tell me? (unlikely) Has he met someone new? (equally unlikely - he's an extremely straightforward guy) Is he in a coma somewhere? Or worse, has he decided to end it all and no one's discovered his body? Is he still caving? Did he not pay his internet bill and he no longer has internet access? If so, why the HELL hasn't he found a way to contact me? Add to that the complication that he's isolated himself from local family and friends (not uncommon for people suffering from depression). I have no one to contact to make sure he's safe. Talk about terrifying. I haven't heard from him since 25 July. Each day that passes by without word is like a tiny little death.
My only options are to wait it out or throw in the towel. Of course, I'll wait but you wouldn't believe how many people have said "move on." I just don't understand that. I need support - I need to feel like I have friends in my corner, you know? - and I do NOT need people to tell me to give up and walk away. Anyone who knows me ought to know by now that there is NO WAY I'll give up on someone I love. That's just not my nature. It never has been and it absolutely never will be. I love Marc more than life and I refuse to give up on him or on us. He needs to see a doctor. Depressed people do not tend to take the initiative in making that first, important move toward help. He is also gripped by the social stigma that is so prevalent in Germany about seeing a therapist. It's simply not done there. Unless one is willing to be branded as "loony" for life. Doing this all in a long distance relationship is exhausting. I am so ready for him to get here to the USA. Currently, I'm checking out a few support groups for partners of people who are dealing with depression. And I do have a few friends who have been in Marc's shoes - hearing their perspectives has been immensely helpful. So a shout-out of gratitude to Caroline, Pat, and Kathy for their help.... guys, I don't know what I'd do without your insight and support : )
Here's a link to help you understand what we're going through:
Suffering In Silence: When Your Spouse Is Depressed
And here's an excerpt from the above link that sums up how I feel:
"Marriage and commitment are for better or worse. Depression is definitely one of the “worse.” It can be trying to maintain one’s own optimism and joy in life when someone you love is under a constant cloud. But with good treatment, encouragement, and caring, most depressed people do recover. With good support, most spouses break through the silence and make it as well."
For better or for worse, I'm in. And that's not negotiable.
On a positive note, I'm still exercising and it's really starting to show. Work is thriving so Zumba's a little hit and miss due to conflicting schedules but, even on days when I can't get to class, I still make sure I get in at least five miles of walking. In fact, last Saturday, I actually walked almost 10 miles in one day! Sweet, huh?
I do still grouse about some of the "jumping" dances in Zumba. And yes, I still watch the clock, although, if you've been following along from the beginning days, you'll be happy to hear that, this past Wednesday, I actually went almost 15 minutes before sneaking a look at the clock (true story). And would you believe that when I finally did, Christa (Dance Spa Owner, Christa South) caught it and called me out on it???? *glare of indignation* Here's how it went down:
Me: (sneaking look at clock 10 minutes before class is over)
Christa: (shouting over the music) "I saw you look at the clock, Kelley!!!"
Me: (under breath: damn it; I thought I was in stealth mode) "Hahaha! You saw nothing!"
Christa: "Ha!"
Me: (sheepish grin) "Ugh, okay, okay! You caught me!"
And, of course, I'm glad I went. Christa practically had to drag my listless ass to class herself but I did feel better and less sad about missing my beloved "dragon cavedweller" after I'd jumped around and hyperventilated to latin music for an hour.
Also, work is going very well. I love my client families more and more each day, plus I'm networking like crazy. I've also taken on a side project that I am REALLY excited about: my friend, Caroline, happens to be the most amazing pastry chef I've ever met and she's starting her own business, Coo Coo Confections. She has this eye for detail that is absolutely unreal - click here to check out her hand painted butter cookies. Seriously - she creates designs for and hand paints her cookies but here's the crazy thing. You know how most bakeries that do custom cookies usually have really pretty cookies that taste... okay? Or pretty good? Or bleah-but-hey-they're-pretty? Caroline spent hoursandhoursandhoursandhours and then more hours perfecting her blend of cookie and frosting flavours so that her cookies actually taste even better than they look. And that's saying a LOT. Because her cookies look almost too pretty to eat. Look at these cookies she made for my friends and me "just because" last weekend:
Aren't they beautiful? Like I said, they taste even better than they look!! But here's the thing. She also does unbelievable, mouth-watering chocolate chip cookies. And brownies. And cakes. And and and... the list goes on. And yes, I *know* my blog is about losing weight, getting fit, and staying healthy. But I truly believe you can enjoy the decadent goodies (like Caroline's amazing cookies) in moderation. I had one cookie. Just one. And it was enough to send me to heaven for the day! (PS - I don't think Caroline has set up her online store yet but she ships orders nationwide. just sayin'. You can probably contact her via the link I provided; if that doesn't work, let me know....................................and you're welcome in advance because, believe me, you'll thank me when you try her goodies.)
Alright, I guess I've updated you enough for now. I hope you are well. I've missed you all. And thank you to those of you who've written or stopped me when you've seen me to ask why I haven't given an update. Now you know. Yes, I'm okay (mostly). Just a little blue because I miss my dragon man very, very much. He'll be back and, when he is, I'll be my usual self again, I promise. : )
My love to you all,
Kelley
Monday, August 2, 2010
Post 50 - And Another thing!
Hello, everyone!
I know, I know, "What's this? Two days of blogging in a row?" Sorry about that - I left out so much good information in that ridiculously long blog of mine last night and I didn't want to let another day go by without writing it down and sharing it with all of you. I'm sending out a special "hello" to all of my friends at Yelp for inspiring this blog post today!
I've - once again - received so many wonderfully encouraging words from SO many of you. And with those words of encouragement, I've also been asked many questions. Hopefully, this blog post will answer some of them.
To begin with, I want to share the following changes I've made to my daily living:
Exercise
Food
This week, I'm going to learn about the food pyramid. I mean, we all learned about it in grammar school but I'm 99.9999999% sure I've been doing it wrong most of my life. So I'm going to see where I went wrong and figure out some fun options for getting myself back on track. I also want to post some sort of exercise/calorie tracker and a food chart here on the blog. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do about that. On the one hand, I do want to post this information because I think it's important. On the other hand, I don't want this blog to start looking too cluttered. So if you have any cool widgets you can share with me, please let me know!
Last but not least, I forgot to mention yesterday that Joe and I have started recording our vlogs. Our approaches are going to be a bit different - like our personalities - and I think that's PERFECT! His, of course, is going to be artistic, fun, and focused on what his body looks like and moves like as he dances his way down to where he wants to be. Mine is more focused on the information I'll be providing. Imagine me actually talking to you and saying everything in my blogs instead of writing it all down. Yeah. Like that. Once we're ready to start posting our vlogs (not for another couple of months, I think), I'll share them with you -- I'm so excited about that!!!
That's it for now -- and don't forget to watch our friends Michael, Adamme, LaToya, Corey and Stephanie on Dance Your Ass Off tonight; it's Vegas night as the contestants travel to Sin City! Can't wait to see what transpires - I'll see you all at the Live Chat; tonight's hosts are LaToya for the east coast chat and Stephanie on the west coast!
Thank you all for keeping me accountable, my virtual friends and family!!
Kelley
xoxo
I know, I know, "What's this? Two days of blogging in a row?" Sorry about that - I left out so much good information in that ridiculously long blog of mine last night and I didn't want to let another day go by without writing it down and sharing it with all of you. I'm sending out a special "hello" to all of my friends at Yelp for inspiring this blog post today!
I've - once again - received so many wonderfully encouraging words from SO many of you. And with those words of encouragement, I've also been asked many questions. Hopefully, this blog post will answer some of them.
To begin with, I want to share the following changes I've made to my daily living:
Exercise
- Zumba - two or three times per week at Dance SPA, depending on my work schedule.
- I walk home from work (three miles) on the days I don't go to Zumba.
- Ab Lab twice per week.
- Strengthening/toning every other day.
Food
- For the most part (there are a few exceptions), I try not to buy anything with ingredients I can't pronounce.
- I plan my snacks. I spend part of my day cooking for others. It's been too easy to just pop a taste of whatever I'm cooking into my mouth. New rule - if it isn't a calorie I can and will track accurately, I won't eat it.
- NO MORE BUYING POTATO CHIPS. I am addicted to them. ADDICTED, I tell you. When I eat potato chips, forget portion control. I literally zone out and then suddenly come back to reality with absolutely no clue how this empty potato chip bag got in my hands. The nutritionist I met with said this "zoning out" I described is VERY common, even among people who aren't overweight. Well, that's simply not acceptable. I'm through with this zoning out business! I won't eliminate them from my diet completely but I will keep my exposure to them at a minimum.
- When I eat at a restaurant, I do eat fries. I won't stop eating fries. Not completely anyway. So here's what I've started doing instead. As soon as my plate comes, I remove 1/2 to 2/3 of the fries and hide them so I don't even see them. This has a dual effect. First, I do tend to be "out of sight, out of mind" about them. However, even if I still find myself wanting them... they've been removed from the warm plate and hidden in a napkin somewhere. This makes them cool off faster and everyone knows cold french fries are just nasty.
- I've also cut my bread intake (which wasn't terribly huge to begin with) in half. No white bread (except the occasional restaurant burger bun if there are no other options).
- And one of the biggest changes I'm just now learning to make is that I'm increasing my water intake by, like, a million oz. Okay, not really a million but, after a lifetime of NEVER drinking water (I've hated it my whole life), I'm learning to be friends with H2O. No, drinking coffee doesn't count, darn it. Water is one of the most important gifts I can give my body and, I think, this must be especially true for those of us in the "over 40" crowd. So I'm on my third 12 oz glass of agua as I write. Cheers, everyone!
This week, I'm going to learn about the food pyramid. I mean, we all learned about it in grammar school but I'm 99.9999999% sure I've been doing it wrong most of my life. So I'm going to see where I went wrong and figure out some fun options for getting myself back on track. I also want to post some sort of exercise/calorie tracker and a food chart here on the blog. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do about that. On the one hand, I do want to post this information because I think it's important. On the other hand, I don't want this blog to start looking too cluttered. So if you have any cool widgets you can share with me, please let me know!
Last but not least, I forgot to mention yesterday that Joe and I have started recording our vlogs. Our approaches are going to be a bit different - like our personalities - and I think that's PERFECT! His, of course, is going to be artistic, fun, and focused on what his body looks like and moves like as he dances his way down to where he wants to be. Mine is more focused on the information I'll be providing. Imagine me actually talking to you and saying everything in my blogs instead of writing it all down. Yeah. Like that. Once we're ready to start posting our vlogs (not for another couple of months, I think), I'll share them with you -- I'm so excited about that!!!
That's it for now -- and don't forget to watch our friends Michael, Adamme, LaToya, Corey and Stephanie on Dance Your Ass Off tonight; it's Vegas night as the contestants travel to Sin City! Can't wait to see what transpires - I'll see you all at the Live Chat; tonight's hosts are LaToya for the east coast chat and Stephanie on the west coast!
Thank you all for keeping me accountable, my virtual friends and family!!
Kelley
xoxo
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Post 49 - The Big Beginning
It's been a few days since I've given an update so this one's going to be a little long (sorry sorry!!).
Let's see, what's been up? LOTS of exercise! Lots of being aware of everything I'm eating and how I'm tracking it, one (sort of) "oops" meal and what I did about it.
I can hear you now. "Lots of exercise, Kelley? Details, please!" and here it comes. I went to Zumba last Tuesday as planned. I wanted to go to Zumba on Thursday, too, but my client family didn't get home until nearly 6:00pm. Class starts at 5:30. So I decided to take Jilly Bean for a two mile long walk when I got home instead. Not bad! I intended to go to Zumba on Friday but you know what? I decided I was going to sleep in for the first time in more than two weeks. And I'm glad I did. When I woke up on Friday, I felt SO rested! I relaxed, enjoyed a cup of coffee, and then took the dog for another long walk.
So Saturday came....
Now, if you've been reading my blog, you know how my Saturdays usually work. I wake up, swear at my alarm clock, lie in bed until Joe texts me and tells me to get my ass in gear and then (still swearing), I clean up and run out the door for Zumba. Well guess what! After sleeping in on Friday, this Saturday morning was a little different. Now, I'm not going to lie and say I bounced out of bed, excited to be up and out but here's what happened:
When I got home, I had to run a couple of errands (hang on, this is relevant). While I was out, I decided I was really in the mood to eat at a sit down restaurant so I stopped in at a cute little deli and ordered a grilled and blackened chicken breast sandwich (hold the cheese, please and thank you). It came with french fries and coleslaw. Can I just say this? I was SO proud of myself! I requested to not have cheese on my sammich and I sectioned out 1/3 of the fries to eat. Coleslaw was no problem. I just didn't touch it.
That sandwich was DELICIOUS! Afterward, I decided, rather than take the bus, I was going to walk. So I did. Two miles!!! Zumba, Ab Lab and a two mile walk all in one day? YES!
Today was Dance SPA's weight loss challenge kick-off!! This was another monumental day for me because I did something I haven't done in more than 16 years - I finally weighed myself. I'm not quite ready to share how much I weigh but suffice it to say that I now know exactly what my starting point is and exactly what I need to do to reach my goal. Never fear - I *will* share my starting weight with you but owning up to my actual weight was an emotional, personal thing for me and I just want to absorb it for a little while before I go public with my current size. You know, I can't say it enough. Knowing where I'm at, knowing where I'm going and knowing what I have to do to get there is a hugely emotional experience. And by saying it was a hugely emotional experience, feel free to imagine that I cried again. Because I did. Ugh, I hate that! Except they weren't tears of sadness or shame. There is just this sense of... I don't know how to explain it. Just an overwhelming feeling of "Oh my God. I'm finally really, really making these changes in my life!"
I also learned something interesting - I have low water weight for my size. That's not a good thing. I am on my way and doing much better about my water intake but I'm still at least 5% under where I should be. So guess what I've been doing all day. Drinking water, water and more water! I've had two litres so far and I'm drinking a third litre as I write. I hope that helps put me on the right track with this water business.
Today, we also had another Zumba class. I couldn't quite make it through the whole class without taking a mini-break but, all in all, I was really proud of myself. Would you believe I actually only looked at the clock four times??? It's a new record for me and yes I am patting myself on the back for it. So yeah! I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
After the kick-off party and class today, Joe, our fellow classmate, Katie, and I went to lunch at Belly Shack, a super-cool little minimalist place with an awesome, industrial theme. I selected lemongrass chicken. When it arrived, there were two slices of accompanying bread (it's supposed to be a sandwich but I left it deconstructed and only ate one piece). The food was delicious, flavourful and filling without being "oof." See?
And then we blew it. Well, sort of.
We decided we couldn't stand it - we had to have ice cream from Margie's and we had to have it right then and there. On that note, off we went. Now, you have to understand: there IS no simple single scoop of plain ice cream at Margie's so, keeping that in mind, I opted for something relatively low-key. I chose two scoops of vanilla and praline. It comes with a too-good-to-say-no-to wafer and a saucer of chocolate sauce. Oh, and whipped cream and the requisite cherry. So how did I do? Not toooooooooooooo bad, I think! I did eat the a scoop of my ice cream and the wafer (I couldn't help it. I just... couldn't help it). Oh, and the whipped cream and requisite cherry. However! I passed on the chocolate sauce and I left one scoop of ice cream in the bowl. Yay me - I AM doing it!
By the time we were done, I was feeling "oooooooooof," so I decided to walk home. Three miles. And I did it!!! After plugging my information into a calculator, I discovered that I burned another 400 calories by walking home so, hmpf! Yep, I'm doing it!
And now? I am finished for the weekend, ha! I'm exhausted, my leg muscles are killing me.... and I feel GOOD. I think, now that I know I can do it without killing myself, I'm going to start walking home from work every day. 400 calories! Woooo! Oh! One more thing before I end this entry; don't forget: tomorrow night is DYAO night. I can't wait to watch my friends dance their asses off another week - it's Vegas week, baby!!!
Love and exercises,
Kelley
xoxo
Let's see, what's been up? LOTS of exercise! Lots of being aware of everything I'm eating and how I'm tracking it, one (sort of) "oops" meal and what I did about it.
I can hear you now. "Lots of exercise, Kelley? Details, please!" and here it comes. I went to Zumba last Tuesday as planned. I wanted to go to Zumba on Thursday, too, but my client family didn't get home until nearly 6:00pm. Class starts at 5:30. So I decided to take Jilly Bean for a two mile long walk when I got home instead. Not bad! I intended to go to Zumba on Friday but you know what? I decided I was going to sleep in for the first time in more than two weeks. And I'm glad I did. When I woke up on Friday, I felt SO rested! I relaxed, enjoyed a cup of coffee, and then took the dog for another long walk.
So Saturday came....
Now, if you've been reading my blog, you know how my Saturdays usually work. I wake up, swear at my alarm clock, lie in bed until Joe texts me and tells me to get my ass in gear and then (still swearing), I clean up and run out the door for Zumba. Well guess what! After sleeping in on Friday, this Saturday morning was a little different. Now, I'm not going to lie and say I bounced out of bed, excited to be up and out but here's what happened:
[7:05] My eyes open.I got up by myself! No text from Joe. No Skype with Marc. I did it. Me! I got to the bus in plenty of time, got to class several minutes early and only looked at the clock every 7 minutes or so and, wonder of wonders, I even found myself getting excited about a couple of the songs (I never thought I'd see the day....). A certain somebody who shall remain nameless (but who usually sends me ingratiatingly perky text messages on Saturday mornings) went out drinking Friday night and missed class! The good news in this is that I learned something that's kind of a big deal: I can actually motivate myself to get up and go to class! *squeeee* Anyhoo! I went to Zumba, made it through the whole class and afterward, did an Ab Lab with Christa. Huzzah!
[7:05:30] After I focus a moment, I panick and wonder if I overslept
[7:05:45] I look at the clock - the alarm isn't set to go off for another 40 minutes
[7:05:55] Me: Well, #%&*!! I woke up before the alarm? %^#@! How about that?"
When I got home, I had to run a couple of errands (hang on, this is relevant). While I was out, I decided I was really in the mood to eat at a sit down restaurant so I stopped in at a cute little deli and ordered a grilled and blackened chicken breast sandwich (hold the cheese, please and thank you). It came with french fries and coleslaw. Can I just say this? I was SO proud of myself! I requested to not have cheese on my sammich and I sectioned out 1/3 of the fries to eat. Coleslaw was no problem. I just didn't touch it.
That sandwich was DELICIOUS! Afterward, I decided, rather than take the bus, I was going to walk. So I did. Two miles!!! Zumba, Ab Lab and a two mile walk all in one day? YES!
Today was Dance SPA's weight loss challenge kick-off!! This was another monumental day for me because I did something I haven't done in more than 16 years - I finally weighed myself. I'm not quite ready to share how much I weigh but suffice it to say that I now know exactly what my starting point is and exactly what I need to do to reach my goal. Never fear - I *will* share my starting weight with you but owning up to my actual weight was an emotional, personal thing for me and I just want to absorb it for a little while before I go public with my current size. You know, I can't say it enough. Knowing where I'm at, knowing where I'm going and knowing what I have to do to get there is a hugely emotional experience. And by saying it was a hugely emotional experience, feel free to imagine that I cried again. Because I did. Ugh, I hate that! Except they weren't tears of sadness or shame. There is just this sense of... I don't know how to explain it. Just an overwhelming feeling of "Oh my God. I'm finally really, really making these changes in my life!"
I also learned something interesting - I have low water weight for my size. That's not a good thing. I am on my way and doing much better about my water intake but I'm still at least 5% under where I should be. So guess what I've been doing all day. Drinking water, water and more water! I've had two litres so far and I'm drinking a third litre as I write. I hope that helps put me on the right track with this water business.
Today, we also had another Zumba class. I couldn't quite make it through the whole class without taking a mini-break but, all in all, I was really proud of myself. Would you believe I actually only looked at the clock four times??? It's a new record for me and yes I am patting myself on the back for it. So yeah! I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
After the kick-off party and class today, Joe, our fellow classmate, Katie, and I went to lunch at Belly Shack, a super-cool little minimalist place with an awesome, industrial theme. I selected lemongrass chicken. When it arrived, there were two slices of accompanying bread (it's supposed to be a sandwich but I left it deconstructed and only ate one piece). The food was delicious, flavourful and filling without being "oof." See?
And then we blew it. Well, sort of.
We decided we couldn't stand it - we had to have ice cream from Margie's and we had to have it right then and there. On that note, off we went. Now, you have to understand: there IS no simple single scoop of plain ice cream at Margie's so, keeping that in mind, I opted for something relatively low-key. I chose two scoops of vanilla and praline. It comes with a too-good-to-say-no-to wafer and a saucer of chocolate sauce. Oh, and whipped cream and the requisite cherry. So how did I do? Not toooooooooooooo bad, I think! I did eat the a scoop of my ice cream and the wafer (I couldn't help it. I just... couldn't help it). Oh, and the whipped cream and requisite cherry. However! I passed on the chocolate sauce and I left one scoop of ice cream in the bowl. Yay me - I AM doing it!
By the time we were done, I was feeling "oooooooooof," so I decided to walk home. Three miles. And I did it!!! After plugging my information into a calculator, I discovered that I burned another 400 calories by walking home so, hmpf! Yep, I'm doing it!
And now? I am finished for the weekend, ha! I'm exhausted, my leg muscles are killing me.... and I feel GOOD. I think, now that I know I can do it without killing myself, I'm going to start walking home from work every day. 400 calories! Woooo! Oh! One more thing before I end this entry; don't forget: tomorrow night is DYAO night. I can't wait to watch my friends dance their asses off another week - it's Vegas week, baby!!!
Love and exercises,
Kelley
xoxo
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Post 48 - A Buncha Stuff!
Hello, hello!
I have so much to tell you but, to be honest, my arms are killing me (more on that in a minute) so I'm not sure how much writing I'll do tonight.
First things first: was DYAO a nail-biter last night or WHAT? Drama, drama, drama! Was the moon in retrograde or something? Even Joe texted me something during the show that made me make the "oh no he di-in't!" face! One of the most amazing things the contestants had to do this week was run around a high school track wearing odd looking silver vests. After they finished their run, they were told that the vests were weighted with the equivalent of all the weight they've lost over the past six weeks. Talk about an emotional moment when they took off those vests; how symbolic, you know? To be able to remove such a burden and to know that they don't ever, ever have to live like that any longer. I was in tears thinking about how proud I am of each and everyone of them and about how I'm doing the same thing in my own journey. Anyhoo! *wipes eyes*
The dance contest was so fun to watch! LaToya and Adamme can DANCE... their skills are fierce. Corey and Stephanie might not have the experience that the other two do but they are just so stinking adorable and expressive with their moves to say nothing of the dance stories their faces tell... they're simply FUN to watch and I giggle when they're on the floor! And my boy, Michael? What can I say? He just makes me smile when I see the concentration and the pure joy on his face. I love them all dearly but Michael's the one who's got my vote! This week, in a close, close contest, it was the lovely Katie's turn to go home, even though we got to see her sassy hidden domme within (and believe me, she was SPICY HOT!). It's getting harder and harder to watch contestants leave the show - I just want everyone to win; is that so bad??
On the work-out front, be proud of me, fellow fitness/weight loss journeypeople - I went to Zumba at Dance SPA. This was my first Tuesday class and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Joe was going to be there today, too! This was another "hustle on over" day because I get off work at 5:30 and......................Zumba starts at 5:30! So I'm about 15 minutes late but not to worry because I get a 45 minute workout and then, when Zumba's over, it's time for the Ab Lab. Now, let me tell you something about the Ab Lab class. It's only 20 minutes long but it's intense. And it works your arms in addition to your abs. Which is why mine feel like rubber tonight. We did push ups. Wall push ups. Which, normally, you would think "WIMP!" However, Christa told us "I know this sounds easy but I promise, promise, promise you - by the end of this song, you're going to hate me!" Well. I don't hate her. I couldn't! But I think my biceps might just a little bit. They'll get over it when I look like a skinny, sexy diva with toned arms.
Abs.... hm. How do I begin to tell you how difficult the ab exercises were for me? Let's put it this way. I haven't done a sit up in....hm. 16 years? Something like that. So here's how it went down:
Here's the really amazing thing about working out so hard, though. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, my brain and my body argue throughout the ENTIRE class. BUT! When it's all said and done, I actually feel kind of great when I walk out that door. I think to myself, "I did it! I'm doing it! Lookitme, Lookitme, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" and I look at Joe and think about how proud I am of him because he's doing it too! And, looking around the room at all of these wonderful people who are at so many different levels. They come back week after week and they're doing it, too!
This week, Joe and I signed up for the Dance SPA Zumba Challenge. I wrote about it in an earlier blog post but, for $249, you get unlimited Zumba, Zumba Toning, Ab Labs and Bollywood on the Fly classes plus a whoooooole bunch of other activities, too. I'm really excited about the kick-off party this Sunday at 1pm. A guest consultant will be on hand with some really cool device that measures your water, fat and muscle in your body. I'm also getting weighed in - I haven't had a scale in years and I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. Time to face up to it and see where I'm at in order to find out how far I've got to go, right? I'm ready, scale. Let's do this!
One last thing... when I came online today, I saw the neatest surprise: I won a blogger award! How cool is that?? Look, here it is!
I'm really excited about this and can't wait to pass it forward. There are instructions I need to follow so I'll make sure I post this all correctly tomorrow when I get home from work. Meanwhile, thank you thank you thank you, Chrissie, for this award! By the way, if you're reading my blog and want to check out another phenomenal blogger's weight loss journey, be sure to stop by Chrissie's blog. It's much more colourful than mine and has lots of pictures. You'll like it, I promise!
Speaking of pictures, I leave you with one more photo. Here's what Joe has to say about how we feel toward the end of our Zumba classes (I agree with him):
HAHAHA! Just kidding (mostly)! We love Christa, we love our classmates and we love Zumba, too!
Love and a buncha other good things,
Kelley
xoxo
I have so much to tell you but, to be honest, my arms are killing me (more on that in a minute) so I'm not sure how much writing I'll do tonight.
First things first: was DYAO a nail-biter last night or WHAT? Drama, drama, drama! Was the moon in retrograde or something? Even Joe texted me something during the show that made me make the "oh no he di-in't!" face! One of the most amazing things the contestants had to do this week was run around a high school track wearing odd looking silver vests. After they finished their run, they were told that the vests were weighted with the equivalent of all the weight they've lost over the past six weeks. Talk about an emotional moment when they took off those vests; how symbolic, you know? To be able to remove such a burden and to know that they don't ever, ever have to live like that any longer. I was in tears thinking about how proud I am of each and everyone of them and about how I'm doing the same thing in my own journey. Anyhoo! *wipes eyes*
The dance contest was so fun to watch! LaToya and Adamme can DANCE... their skills are fierce. Corey and Stephanie might not have the experience that the other two do but they are just so stinking adorable and expressive with their moves to say nothing of the dance stories their faces tell... they're simply FUN to watch and I giggle when they're on the floor! And my boy, Michael? What can I say? He just makes me smile when I see the concentration and the pure joy on his face. I love them all dearly but Michael's the one who's got my vote! This week, in a close, close contest, it was the lovely Katie's turn to go home, even though we got to see her sassy hidden domme within (and believe me, she was SPICY HOT!). It's getting harder and harder to watch contestants leave the show - I just want everyone to win; is that so bad??
On the work-out front, be proud of me, fellow fitness/weight loss journeypeople - I went to Zumba at Dance SPA. This was my first Tuesday class and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Joe was going to be there today, too! This was another "hustle on over" day because I get off work at 5:30 and......................Zumba starts at 5:30! So I'm about 15 minutes late but not to worry because I get a 45 minute workout and then, when Zumba's over, it's time for the Ab Lab. Now, let me tell you something about the Ab Lab class. It's only 20 minutes long but it's intense. And it works your arms in addition to your abs. Which is why mine feel like rubber tonight. We did push ups. Wall push ups. Which, normally, you would think "WIMP!" However, Christa told us "I know this sounds easy but I promise, promise, promise you - by the end of this song, you're going to hate me!" Well. I don't hate her. I couldn't! But I think my biceps might just a little bit. They'll get over it when I look like a skinny, sexy diva with toned arms.
Abs.... hm. How do I begin to tell you how difficult the ab exercises were for me? Let's put it this way. I haven't done a sit up in....hm. 16 years? Something like that. So here's how it went down:
[6:30] Song one starts. We do crunches. I think, "okay! not too bad - I can do this!"
[6:35] Song ends, Christa says, "WOOO! Great job, everyone! Now we're gonna do 15 more minutes of that!" I want to kill someone but I'm in too much pain to move.
[6:36] Song two starts. We do some sort of thing where you lie on your back with your legs in the air and scissor kick your legs until they're almost to the floor then scissor kick them back up again. I swear I'm not making this up - each time I moved my legs up and down, my back felt like I was lying on bubble wrap. "kick-pop!pop!pop!-kick-pop!pop!pop!" and so on. I didn't finish that exercise but did crunches while everyone else was scissoring away.
[6:40] Aforementioned wall push-ups. I think, "pfff, THESE I can do. Easy-peasy!" (when will I ever learn?)
[6:43] My arms did, in fact, hate her a little I think.
Here's the really amazing thing about working out so hard, though. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, my brain and my body argue throughout the ENTIRE class. BUT! When it's all said and done, I actually feel kind of great when I walk out that door. I think to myself, "I did it! I'm doing it! Lookitme, Lookitme, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" and I look at Joe and think about how proud I am of him because he's doing it too! And, looking around the room at all of these wonderful people who are at so many different levels. They come back week after week and they're doing it, too!
This week, Joe and I signed up for the Dance SPA Zumba Challenge. I wrote about it in an earlier blog post but, for $249, you get unlimited Zumba, Zumba Toning, Ab Labs and Bollywood on the Fly classes plus a whoooooole bunch of other activities, too. I'm really excited about the kick-off party this Sunday at 1pm. A guest consultant will be on hand with some really cool device that measures your water, fat and muscle in your body. I'm also getting weighed in - I haven't had a scale in years and I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. Time to face up to it and see where I'm at in order to find out how far I've got to go, right? I'm ready, scale. Let's do this!
One last thing... when I came online today, I saw the neatest surprise: I won a blogger award! How cool is that?? Look, here it is!
I'm really excited about this and can't wait to pass it forward. There are instructions I need to follow so I'll make sure I post this all correctly tomorrow when I get home from work. Meanwhile, thank you thank you thank you, Chrissie, for this award! By the way, if you're reading my blog and want to check out another phenomenal blogger's weight loss journey, be sure to stop by Chrissie's blog. It's much more colourful than mine and has lots of pictures. You'll like it, I promise!
Speaking of pictures, I leave you with one more photo. Here's what Joe has to say about how we feel toward the end of our Zumba classes (I agree with him):
HAHAHA! Just kidding (mostly)! We love Christa, we love our classmates and we love Zumba, too!
Love and a buncha other good things,
Kelley
xoxo
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Post 47 - When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Sure You Have Water and Sugar If You Want Lemonade
So this morning, when my precious boyfriend (whom I adore) and my sweet friend (whom I also adore) both texted me cheery "get up and go" messages, let's just say I didn't use my most lady-like language. I was full of vinegar and NO sugar whatsoever. Let me explain!
I worked a 65 hour week last week. Add to that, the 6 hours of work-related travel time and... we're talking more than 70 hours of work, including two back-to-back work shifts on Thursday and Friday. Exhausting, to say the least! I got home from work just before 1am this morning. Soaking wet because of the rain storm last night (which I actually loved). I peeled off my clothes, threw on some jammies, washed my face and collapsed in bed. I woke up when the alarm went off at 7:15 this morning and used extreme self control in not hurling it across the room. Part of my motivation here is that I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. No alarm clock = no telephone = no good. So I was just relaxing thinking the usual: you know... I can miss JUST ONE DAY. It's raining. I don't want to ruin the studio's floor with my wet shoes. It's just one day! Marc and I were having some lovely little virtual snuggling when I mentioned the word "Zumba." FTW! My loving boyfriend instantly turned into drill sergeant from hell!
[7:53 AM] Marc: hellllooooo!
[7:53 AM] Marc: mmmuah and good moorning!
[7:53 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:54 AM] Marc: i did not want to wake you...I KNEW you had your mobile on alarm i
[7:54 AM] Kelley: one eye half open here
[7:54 AM] Marc: turn and sleep another few minutes!
[7:54 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:55 AM] Kelley: I'm not going to zumba - it's in an hour and I'm too worn out
[7:56 AM] Marc: no way!
[7:56 AM] Marc: YOU
[7:56 AM] Marc: GO!
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP WITH YOU, LAZY ASS!
[7:56 AM] Marc: NOW!
[7:56 AM] Marc: I did not know you have zumba
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP!
[7:56 AM] Marc shakes your bed
[7:58 AM] Kelley *whines*
[8:00 AM] Marc: hop hop!
[8:00 AM] Kelley: i didn't get home til almost 1am
[8:01 AM] Marc: no excuses! you can rest when you are back home! just... DO IT!
At this point, my phone buzzes again. It's Joe (of course):
[8:03 AM] Joe: I'm at Western. Text ya later and get ur ass over here!
[8:03 AM] Kelley: grrrr. Okay! *goes back to sleep*
Back to Marc:
[8:03 AM] Kelley: who to kill first? marc? or joe?
[8:04 AM] Marc: hey, c`mon
[8:05 AM] Marc: its just an hour
[8:05 AM] Marc: if you skip it once, you will skip it more and more
(I think to myself, "*swear word* I hate when he's right and has a good point")
[8:06 AM] Kelley: i hate mornings now more than ever
[8:06 AM] Marc: are you going to zumba?
[8:07 AM] Kelley: *swear words*, YES
[8:07 AM] Marc: gooood girl!
[8:09 AM] Kelley: if you could see the look on my face you'd be very glad you're 4500 miles away right now
[8:09 AM] Marc: i LOVE that face!
So, pissing and moaning, I got up to go to Zumba at Dance Spa. In the rain. After 6 hours of sleep, I might add. Now THAT'S dedication. Okay, well sort of. I still need someone to kick my butt out of bed on Saturday mornings but Rome was not built in a day, people! Anyway. I get up, get out, get to the bus stop and...............................................wait.
And wait.
And wait.
40 minutes later, I was still waiting. The bus tracker said the bus would arrive at 9:27. For a 25 minute drive. Which would get me to class at 10:00-ish. Class begins at 9:30. You see where this is going, right? After much cursing and glowering at buses on other routes, I said to myself, "well, I'm out of the house now, *swear word* so I might as well do something, *swear word!*" And with that, I walked up to Caribou for a medium coffee and 7 grain oatmeal. Might as well at least eat something healthy, right?
As I sat there, I started feeling kind of guilty. I mean, Marc and Joe both really, really mean well and want good things for me. And I kind of felt like I let Christa and everyone else down a little, too. I'm doing this blog. Hundreds of people are reading it. I keep going on and on about how this is going to be a life-changing experience and what do I do? Skip a class? Okay, granted, it wasn't entirely my fault. I was up and ready to go in plenty of time but did I really try my hardest? Was I determined to get there, no matter what?
I tend to beat myself up a bit if I don't give 100%. It's okay. I work better that way.
After a while, I thought, "well, okay. I blew this class - I know it wasn't my fault but I wasn't there. And I'm sure, even with the weather, other people made it." (turns out 22 people made it - wow!!) "So what can I do to turn this into a positive thing?" and with that, I decided to go for a long, long walk. It took me an hour and a half but I walked 4 miles before the sauna known as "Chicago post-rain-storm" got the best of me. My legs feel like rubber. I hope to do two more miles tonight before bed. So there you have it. My own little version of life lemonade.
It's afternoon now. I've had a little rest. My Jilly Bean needs to go out. Maybe I'll see how far we can go before we have to come back...
Love and Life Lemonade,
Kelley
xoxo
I worked a 65 hour week last week. Add to that, the 6 hours of work-related travel time and... we're talking more than 70 hours of work, including two back-to-back work shifts on Thursday and Friday. Exhausting, to say the least! I got home from work just before 1am this morning. Soaking wet because of the rain storm last night (which I actually loved). I peeled off my clothes, threw on some jammies, washed my face and collapsed in bed. I woke up when the alarm went off at 7:15 this morning and used extreme self control in not hurling it across the room. Part of my motivation here is that I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. No alarm clock = no telephone = no good. So I was just relaxing thinking the usual: you know... I can miss JUST ONE DAY. It's raining. I don't want to ruin the studio's floor with my wet shoes. It's just one day! Marc and I were having some lovely little virtual snuggling when I mentioned the word "Zumba." FTW! My loving boyfriend instantly turned into drill sergeant from hell!
[7:53 AM] Marc: hellllooooo!
[7:53 AM] Marc: mmmuah and good moorning!
[7:53 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:54 AM] Marc: i did not want to wake you...I KNEW you had your mobile on alarm i
[7:54 AM] Kelley: one eye half open here
[7:54 AM] Marc: turn and sleep another few minutes!
[7:54 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:55 AM] Kelley: I'm not going to zumba - it's in an hour and I'm too worn out
[7:56 AM] Marc: no way!
[7:56 AM] Marc: YOU
[7:56 AM] Marc: GO!
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP WITH YOU, LAZY ASS!
[7:56 AM] Marc: NOW!
[7:56 AM] Marc: I did not know you have zumba
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP!
[7:56 AM] Marc shakes your bed
[7:58 AM] Kelley *whines*
[8:00 AM] Marc: hop hop!
[8:00 AM] Kelley: i didn't get home til almost 1am
[8:01 AM] Marc: no excuses! you can rest when you are back home! just... DO IT!
At this point, my phone buzzes again. It's Joe (of course):
[8:03 AM] Joe: I'm at Western. Text ya later and get ur ass over here!
[8:03 AM] Kelley: grrrr. Okay! *goes back to sleep*
Back to Marc:
[8:03 AM] Kelley: who to kill first? marc? or joe?
[8:04 AM] Marc: hey, c`mon
[8:05 AM] Marc: its just an hour
[8:05 AM] Marc: if you skip it once, you will skip it more and more
(I think to myself, "*swear word* I hate when he's right and has a good point")
[8:06 AM] Kelley: i hate mornings now more than ever
[8:06 AM] Marc: are you going to zumba?
[8:07 AM] Kelley: *swear words*, YES
[8:07 AM] Marc: gooood girl!
[8:09 AM] Kelley: if you could see the look on my face you'd be very glad you're 4500 miles away right now
[8:09 AM] Marc: i LOVE that face!
So, pissing and moaning, I got up to go to Zumba at Dance Spa. In the rain. After 6 hours of sleep, I might add. Now THAT'S dedication. Okay, well sort of. I still need someone to kick my butt out of bed on Saturday mornings but Rome was not built in a day, people! Anyway. I get up, get out, get to the bus stop and...............................................wait.
And wait.
And wait.
40 minutes later, I was still waiting. The bus tracker said the bus would arrive at 9:27. For a 25 minute drive. Which would get me to class at 10:00-ish. Class begins at 9:30. You see where this is going, right? After much cursing and glowering at buses on other routes, I said to myself, "well, I'm out of the house now, *swear word* so I might as well do something, *swear word!*" And with that, I walked up to Caribou for a medium coffee and 7 grain oatmeal. Might as well at least eat something healthy, right?
As I sat there, I started feeling kind of guilty. I mean, Marc and Joe both really, really mean well and want good things for me. And I kind of felt like I let Christa and everyone else down a little, too. I'm doing this blog. Hundreds of people are reading it. I keep going on and on about how this is going to be a life-changing experience and what do I do? Skip a class? Okay, granted, it wasn't entirely my fault. I was up and ready to go in plenty of time but did I really try my hardest? Was I determined to get there, no matter what?
I tend to beat myself up a bit if I don't give 100%. It's okay. I work better that way.
After a while, I thought, "well, okay. I blew this class - I know it wasn't my fault but I wasn't there. And I'm sure, even with the weather, other people made it." (turns out 22 people made it - wow!!) "So what can I do to turn this into a positive thing?" and with that, I decided to go for a long, long walk. It took me an hour and a half but I walked 4 miles before the sauna known as "Chicago post-rain-storm" got the best of me. My legs feel like rubber. I hope to do two more miles tonight before bed. So there you have it. My own little version of life lemonade.
It's afternoon now. I've had a little rest. My Jilly Bean needs to go out. Maybe I'll see how far we can go before we have to come back...
Love and Life Lemonade,
Kelley
xoxo
Friday, July 23, 2010
Post 46 - Getting Motivated
Today I decided to write about something I struggle with when it comes to exercise: MOTIVATION. Do you ever feel that way? Like, "ugh, I can't do it. I don't want to do it. It's not working anyway so why bother??" That's me to a tee. I practically break my neck to get to the studio for a work out, I get exhausted, I go home and want to cry because, while Joe has already lost, like, 8 pounds, I don't see even one tiny difference in my body. I feel better but I want to look better - right now, please! Okay, logically, I know this is part of the journey. I also know I live in a world of "gotta have it right now" instant gratification. But darn it, it's frustrating!
Well, I went to Zumba on Wednesday. Let me tell you - just getting to Zumba is an adventure and a half! I live in Chicago and rely on public transportation which means it takes a while to get from Point A to Point B (hey, it's cool - I'm doing my part to reduce my carbon footprint for our environment). So here's how I get from my own Point A (work) to Point B (Zumba):
That's pretty much it. See? Tight schedule! But I make it two times each week. I'm thinking about switching to a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday schedule so I can go three days a week instead of two. Once the three-month special at Dance Spa South that I talked about in my last post kicks off (AUGUST 1, FELLOW CHICAGOANS!!), I'd like to try to be there at least 4 days a week - but maybe that's a little ambitious; I'm not sure! Then again, Christa's offering some incredible things with the package so... maybe I just need to find a way to fit in 4 days!
So how'd this past Wednesday go? Pretty well, except for feeling a little moody about not suddenly being Christa's size. Or at least in that general vicinity. Plus, for some reason, this week I'm feeling "old!" I mean, what's THAT all about? I don't mind my age at all! Except sometimes I think "do I look like a complete ass doing these dance moves? We did NOT move our hips like this when we danced back in 1989!" Then I thought, "I bet Demi Moore can do these damn dance steps and she's older than I am so, if she can do them, I'll freaking figure it out!" and I keep right on dancing. I just... *shudder*.... do not want to look like one of those adorable old men who dance at weddings with their grand daughter's best friends, gyrating their hips in that old man way. Do you know what I mean? Like this:
He's adorable. But he's 85!!!!!!!! I want to look hot, sexy... 45! Not 85! Yes, I know I'm whining... and *sigh* yes, I'm aware that instant gratification is just a fantasy, not at all realistic.
So this past Wednesday, I was at Zumba and plugging away. Now, I've noticed two things. First, no more mid-class pee breaks; in fact, no more mid-class breaks (other than the same quick water breaks that everyone takes). THAT, my friends, is progress! I've also noticed that I'm becoming more aware of the isolated movements my body is making. Know what I mean? When I do certain moves, I'm aware of my abs and I try to control the muscles while I do the moves.
Okay, not always... but sometimes!
which is a major improvement from last week when it was all about "omg, what can I do to make myself look busy so I won't have to do this song? drink some water? walk around in a circle in the back of the room looking like I'm concentrating and checking my heart rate? take another pee break?" It's a slow process but I'm getting there!
I also noticed that I'm seeing a big difference in my approach to my mental stuff in class. The first two weeks, I really didn't care a whole lot about how much energy I was exerting during each dance. Simply getting THROUGH the dance was enough to kill me (I thought). This week, however, I was aware of actually getting mad that I let myself get out of shape so badly that I can barely make it through this class. And I noticed my determination. I mean, I can say I'm determined and mean it - heck, I've written it right here in this blog enough over the past couple of weeks - but to feel it is something else entirely. And on Wednesday, I felt it. Not the exciting, Rocky-"Gonna-Fly-Now" determination but an "I will not let my past become my future" kind of anger.
And I noticed my limitations. No more delusions. Yes, I used to be able to do all sorts of things. I had energy to spare and I was always at the front of the pack. But right now my body has limits. I hate them but I'm through denying that they exist. You know what? I think it's good to finally be cognitively aware of them and open with you about them. No kidding myself or anyone else. I've got some work to do to get in shape again. And I'm over 40. It's not going to be easy. But I am absolutely determined to succeed. Now, who's in with me??
Love and Determination,
Kelley
xoxo
*bangs head against wall*
Well, I went to Zumba on Wednesday. Let me tell you - just getting to Zumba is an adventure and a half! I live in Chicago and rely on public transportation which means it takes a while to get from Point A to Point B (hey, it's cool - I'm doing my part to reduce my carbon footprint for our environment). So here's how I get from my own Point A (work) to Point B (Zumba):
5:45 - Leave work
5:55 - Get on bus to get home
6:20 - Arrive at home, take dog out for a very quick potty break
6:35 - Leave home
6:40 - Get back on bus to go to Zumba. Text/whine with Joe the entire way.
7:05 - Get off bus to go to Zumba (two blocks away) at Dance Spa South
7:10 - Arrive at Zumba completely out of breath
That's pretty much it. See? Tight schedule! But I make it two times each week. I'm thinking about switching to a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday schedule so I can go three days a week instead of two. Once the three-month special at Dance Spa South that I talked about in my last post kicks off (AUGUST 1, FELLOW CHICAGOANS!!), I'd like to try to be there at least 4 days a week - but maybe that's a little ambitious; I'm not sure! Then again, Christa's offering some incredible things with the package so... maybe I just need to find a way to fit in 4 days!
So how'd this past Wednesday go? Pretty well, except for feeling a little moody about not suddenly being Christa's size. Or at least in that general vicinity. Plus, for some reason, this week I'm feeling "old!" I mean, what's THAT all about? I don't mind my age at all! Except sometimes I think "do I look like a complete ass doing these dance moves? We did NOT move our hips like this when we danced back in 1989!" Then I thought, "I bet Demi Moore can do these damn dance steps and she's older than I am so, if she can do them, I'll freaking figure it out!" and I keep right on dancing. I just... *shudder*.... do not want to look like one of those adorable old men who dance at weddings with their grand daughter's best friends, gyrating their hips in that old man way. Do you know what I mean? Like this:
He's adorable. But he's 85!!!!!!!! I want to look hot, sexy... 45! Not 85! Yes, I know I'm whining... and *sigh* yes, I'm aware that instant gratification is just a fantasy, not at all realistic.
So this past Wednesday, I was at Zumba and plugging away. Now, I've noticed two things. First, no more mid-class pee breaks; in fact, no more mid-class breaks (other than the same quick water breaks that everyone takes). THAT, my friends, is progress! I've also noticed that I'm becoming more aware of the isolated movements my body is making. Know what I mean? When I do certain moves, I'm aware of my abs and I try to control the muscles while I do the moves.
Okay, not always... but sometimes!
which is a major improvement from last week when it was all about "omg, what can I do to make myself look busy so I won't have to do this song? drink some water? walk around in a circle in the back of the room looking like I'm concentrating and checking my heart rate? take another pee break?" It's a slow process but I'm getting there!
I also noticed that I'm seeing a big difference in my approach to my mental stuff in class. The first two weeks, I really didn't care a whole lot about how much energy I was exerting during each dance. Simply getting THROUGH the dance was enough to kill me (I thought). This week, however, I was aware of actually getting mad that I let myself get out of shape so badly that I can barely make it through this class. And I noticed my determination. I mean, I can say I'm determined and mean it - heck, I've written it right here in this blog enough over the past couple of weeks - but to feel it is something else entirely. And on Wednesday, I felt it. Not the exciting, Rocky-"Gonna-Fly-Now" determination but an "I will not let my past become my future" kind of anger.
And I noticed my limitations. No more delusions. Yes, I used to be able to do all sorts of things. I had energy to spare and I was always at the front of the pack. But right now my body has limits. I hate them but I'm through denying that they exist. You know what? I think it's good to finally be cognitively aware of them and open with you about them. No kidding myself or anyone else. I've got some work to do to get in shape again. And I'm over 40. It's not going to be easy. But I am absolutely determined to succeed. Now, who's in with me??
Love and Determination,
Kelley
xoxo
Monday, July 19, 2010
Post 45 - Skinny Jeans and Soul Food Brunch
Hello, hello!
So Saturday morning was, once again, Zumba day at Dance Spa South. I'd like to say, "Saturday morning was Zumba day as usual," but let's be realistic - I haven't even done this for two weeks straight yet and, since they say it takes 30 days to form a habit, I think I have about 2.5 more weeks to go before I can officially declare "I went to Zumba as usual!" But, semantics aside, I went to Zumba after my usual morning wake up routine that goes like this:
The next hour is pretty much me arguing with myself like this:
So I got up, took the dog for her walk, made some coffee and while I was sipping it, I posted on Facebook that I was heading out to my Zumba class. Ever the faithful friend/support person, I got my Saturday morning text from Joe as I was on the bus:
That's pretty much how it always goes. So, like I said, I made it to Zumba - on time, even - and another milestone was achieved: I got through the whole class without needing any pee breaks! YEAH! (this is important stuff, people) I am, however, still looking at the clock every five minutes going "what?? I still have 40/35/30/25/etc. minutes of this to go???" but Rome was not built in a day and, given the fact that, during my first class, I went, "what?? I still have 57/55/53/51/49/47/etc. minutes of this to go???" I see my current class-clock-watching as a major improvement already. And I believe I *will* reach that day when I jump out of bed to say "woohoo! Saturday morning! Zumba, let's GO!" (Even if you know me well enough to know that I will never jump out of bed happily on my day off from work to do anything (except maybe shuffle to the kitchen for coffee), shhh, let me have my fantasy, please and thank you!)
After that, I kind of lounged around. I don't know about the rest of you, wherever you are, but it is ridiculously hot and humid here in Chicago right now and it's difficult to get the motivation to go anywhere or do much... so bleah.
On Sunday, I was faced with yet another food challenge - SOUL FOOD *dun-dun-DUN* I've been getting firmer in some very good places so I decided to try on a pair of jeans in my closet that are one size smaller than what I usually wear. They don't quite fit yet. Well, they do kind of. But they look like skinny jeans (they're not supposed to) and, hello, does the word "muffin top" mean anything to you? Muffin tops belong in bakeries, not on my waistline. And I was a little worried about what could happen to the button on these jeans if I wore them to the soul food restaurant. I mean, seriously, how does one even LOOK at soul food without gaining 10 lbs.?? Well here's the thing about this: I've seen plenty of skinny people eating soul food so I decided to go straight to the source, Velvet Daniels, mama to DYAO Season 2 Contestant, LaToya James. Velvet knows soul food and she's about the size of a toothpick (with hips and boobs) so I just asked her what to do and here's what she told me:
So that's exactly what I did. While wearing my old, baggy jeans. And it was delicious! I had a taste of mustard fried catfish (literally, two bites from my dining companion's entree), turkey tips (my entree), green beans cooked with ham and some red beans & rice. I skipped the sweet potato pie, the mac & cheese and the cornbread stuffing so I am really, really proud of myself! Dessert came with the meal and, since nearly everything was bready, doughy and loaded with fats, I ordered the key lime pie. But you know what? I was so busy talking and listening to everyone that I forgot to eat it so I had the server pack it up to go.
Since I knew I was going to be eating a big meal at the soul food restaurant, I decided to keep dinner to a fresh salad. Lettuce, tomato, onion, a lot of salsa and a tiny bit of cheese... oh, and i did eat the slice of key lime pie. I *think* that's okay but I'm not quite sure. How am I doing?? I think I might be ready for that pair of jeans in my closet soon if I keep this up!!
One negative to report for the weekend: I really needed to go walking last night. It's part of the routine I'm trying to establish but, dang it, it is SO hot outside I just.. meh. Didn't have the energy. So I sat in the air conditioning and read instead.
I'm thinking about adding a third Zumba class and a strength training class to my week. Oooh! That reminds me! Before I forget - if any of you are reading and you happen to live in Chicago, Dance Spa South (in Bucktown) is running a special, beginning August 1, 2010!! For just $249 (payable in three equal installments of $83 per month), you get to have *gasp* UNLIMITED Zumba dance classes, Bollywood dance classes with Ajanta Chakraborty, and strength training classes - how unbelievably cool is THAT??? Joe and I are so all over that offer. You have no idea. There might even be some sort of contest involved - if that materializes into something specific, I'll be sure to let you know! Plus, don't forget: Join Christa South on Tuesday nights at 7pm from July 20th-August 24. In just 6 weeks you will learn the basics of Ballroom dancing and be ready to set the dance floor on fire! No Partner needed!! $72 per person or $135 when two people sign up together.
Also, speaking of ballroom dancing, don't forget: tonight is STRICTLY BALLROOM ON DYAO!!! If you'd like to join the live chats, tonight you can visit with Erica on the east coast or Katie on the west coast - see you there!
One more thing before I end this post: If you're reading my blog - periodically, regularly, for the first time, whatever - will you please do me a favour and leave me a note in the comment section of this post? It's difficult to know how to direct my posts if I don't know who I'm talking to and get a little feedback. Also, if you like reading what I wrote, I hope you'll consider becoming a follower of my blog - if you have a blog of your own, let's link up! It's easy, free and (most important), it won't cause you to receive spam mail!
Love, laughter and healthy soul food ~winks~
Kelley
So Saturday morning was, once again, Zumba day at Dance Spa South. I'd like to say, "Saturday morning was Zumba day as usual," but let's be realistic - I haven't even done this for two weeks straight yet and, since they say it takes 30 days to form a habit, I think I have about 2.5 more weeks to go before I can officially declare "I went to Zumba as usual!" But, semantics aside, I went to Zumba after my usual morning wake up routine that goes like this:
7:45: *alarm clock rings*
Me: #$%&*!! ...need. coffee.
The next hour is pretty much me arguing with myself like this:
Me: Whyyyyyyy?
Me2: We'll be fine!
Me: But whyyyyyyy?
Me2: Because this is good for us.
Me: I juh-huhst wah-hahnt to sleeh-heep ih-hih-hih-hih-innnn!
Me2: Get up, take the dog for her walk, make some coffee, post to everyone that you're going to Zumba. And. Then. GO. (sometimes I have to be a little stern with myself)
So I got up, took the dog for her walk, made some coffee and while I was sipping it, I posted on Facebook that I was heading out to my Zumba class. Ever the faithful friend/support person, I got my Saturday morning text from Joe as I was on the bus:
Joe: I'm on the train almost there. Let's do this!!!!
Me: *swear words* how are you so *swear word* perky in the mornings????????
Joe: I'm an internally perky person.
That's pretty much how it always goes. So, like I said, I made it to Zumba - on time, even - and another milestone was achieved: I got through the whole class without needing any pee breaks! YEAH! (this is important stuff, people) I am, however, still looking at the clock every five minutes going "what?? I still have 40/35/30/25/etc. minutes of this to go???" but Rome was not built in a day and, given the fact that, during my first class, I went, "what?? I still have 57/55/53/51/49/47/etc. minutes of this to go???" I see my current class-clock-watching as a major improvement already. And I believe I *will* reach that day when I jump out of bed to say "woohoo! Saturday morning! Zumba, let's GO!" (Even if you know me well enough to know that I will never jump out of bed happily on my day off from work to do anything (except maybe shuffle to the kitchen for coffee), shhh, let me have my fantasy, please and thank you!)
After that, I kind of lounged around. I don't know about the rest of you, wherever you are, but it is ridiculously hot and humid here in Chicago right now and it's difficult to get the motivation to go anywhere or do much... so bleah.
On Sunday, I was faced with yet another food challenge - SOUL FOOD *dun-dun-DUN* I've been getting firmer in some very good places so I decided to try on a pair of jeans in my closet that are one size smaller than what I usually wear. They don't quite fit yet. Well, they do kind of. But they look like skinny jeans (they're not supposed to) and, hello, does the word "muffin top" mean anything to you? Muffin tops belong in bakeries, not on my waistline. And I was a little worried about what could happen to the button on these jeans if I wore them to the soul food restaurant. I mean, seriously, how does one even LOOK at soul food without gaining 10 lbs.?? Well here's the thing about this: I've seen plenty of skinny people eating soul food so I decided to go straight to the source, Velvet Daniels, mama to DYAO Season 2 Contestant, LaToya James. Velvet knows soul food and she's about the size of a toothpick (with hips and boobs) so I just asked her what to do and here's what she told me:
"When out remove the skin from the fried chicken. Eat white meat not dark meat. Greens cooked with turkey not pork. Stay away from the Mac and cheese and if your like me and can't do that eat just enough to satify ... See Morethat taste bud. You know what? Just eat very small amount of everything that looks good to you. i would take a half table spoon and sample everything I like but I load up on my greens and cabbage. Cabbage is a great fat burner."
So that's exactly what I did. While wearing my old, baggy jeans. And it was delicious! I had a taste of mustard fried catfish (literally, two bites from my dining companion's entree), turkey tips (my entree), green beans cooked with ham and some red beans & rice. I skipped the sweet potato pie, the mac & cheese and the cornbread stuffing so I am really, really proud of myself! Dessert came with the meal and, since nearly everything was bready, doughy and loaded with fats, I ordered the key lime pie. But you know what? I was so busy talking and listening to everyone that I forgot to eat it so I had the server pack it up to go.
Since I knew I was going to be eating a big meal at the soul food restaurant, I decided to keep dinner to a fresh salad. Lettuce, tomato, onion, a lot of salsa and a tiny bit of cheese... oh, and i did eat the slice of key lime pie. I *think* that's okay but I'm not quite sure. How am I doing?? I think I might be ready for that pair of jeans in my closet soon if I keep this up!!
One negative to report for the weekend: I really needed to go walking last night. It's part of the routine I'm trying to establish but, dang it, it is SO hot outside I just.. meh. Didn't have the energy. So I sat in the air conditioning and read instead.
I'm thinking about adding a third Zumba class and a strength training class to my week. Oooh! That reminds me! Before I forget - if any of you are reading and you happen to live in Chicago, Dance Spa South (in Bucktown) is running a special, beginning August 1, 2010!! For just $249 (payable in three equal installments of $83 per month), you get to have *gasp* UNLIMITED Zumba dance classes, Bollywood dance classes with Ajanta Chakraborty, and strength training classes - how unbelievably cool is THAT??? Joe and I are so all over that offer. You have no idea. There might even be some sort of contest involved - if that materializes into something specific, I'll be sure to let you know! Plus, don't forget: Join Christa South on Tuesday nights at 7pm from July 20th-August 24. In just 6 weeks you will learn the basics of Ballroom dancing and be ready to set the dance floor on fire! No Partner needed!! $72 per person or $135 when two people sign up together.
Also, speaking of ballroom dancing, don't forget: tonight is STRICTLY BALLROOM ON DYAO!!! If you'd like to join the live chats, tonight you can visit with Erica on the east coast or Katie on the west coast - see you there!
One more thing before I end this post: If you're reading my blog - periodically, regularly, for the first time, whatever - will you please do me a favour and leave me a note in the comment section of this post? It's difficult to know how to direct my posts if I don't know who I'm talking to and get a little feedback. Also, if you like reading what I wrote, I hope you'll consider becoming a follower of my blog - if you have a blog of your own, let's link up! It's easy, free and (most important), it won't cause you to receive spam mail!
Love, laughter and healthy soul food ~winks~
Kelley
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Post 44 - One Week Down... However Many It Takes To Go!
Wow, it's been one, full week since I've really committed myself to a change in lifestyle that includes consciously making healthy food choices and working out regularly, including two power-Zumba classes at Dance Spa with owner/instructor/official butt kicking power dancer and motivator, Christa South! Joe and I are so proud of ourselves - we're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it!!!! Once again, I owe big, big thank yous to Joe for motivating me - I'm honestly not quite sure where my motivation would be this early in the game if it weren't for his text messages pushing me along! I literally ran out the door from work at 5:40pm, caught the bus, got home at 6:25, hustled the dog out for a 30 second potty break (poor thing), ran her back inside, told her I'd be home after class and then ran back out the door. I got on the bus at 6:40 and had 20 minutes to get to class (impossible). I did make it there by 7:10 and I think that's okay because I actually had to speed-walk almost a mile to get to class so no worries! Can't you just imagine me hustling on down the sidewalk thinking with each step, "crap, crap, crap, I'm late!" as I go? I wish I could get there earlier but there's just no way without paying $15 for a cab and... I just can't justify that. I *will* however, be right on time for Saturday's class!
Anyway, Zumba! Tonight marked a special milestone for me - this is the first class I've attended in which I actually made it through the whole class without any breaks (minus a very quick power pee break - but the bathroom's *makes hand gesture to the left of her body* right over there, just off the dance floor, so it's no biggie). Also, I'm starting to get to know some of the moves so I don't feel quite as ridiculous as I did at first. That's a VERY good thing. And at the end (this is my favourite part) - we do this cool down routine that involves punching into the air over and over again. This probably isn't the most lady-like confession I'll ever make but here's what I do: Every time I punch, I think of someone who told me I'm a bad person, a failure, or that I wouldn't ever be anything on my own. Take THAT, exhusband! Take THAT, jerk-ex who stole $20,000 from me and left the country! Take THAT, person who told me that fat people look like beached crustacians! Take THAT everyone who I've ever let make me feel bad about myself! Pow! Pow! Pow! I love that part!! It makes me feel incredibly empowered - is that bad? I hope not... because it really gives me motivation to excel! At the end of class, we're all little more than walking balls of noodly legs and sweat (gross, I know. Sorry about that but it's true) but we all feel GREAT and we know we just had an amazing work out!
What about food choices? This week has presented an interesting challenge for me. I eat my meals at my clients' houses. That's just the arrangement - how it's always been. Until this week, that's been totally fine. My clients choose really healthy, organic foods - heavy on the fruits and veggies so I thought "no problem!" about the diet. Well. Wouldn't you know it? This week, they didn't buy any fresh vegetables at all and only a couple of fruits. Instead, they bought all kinds of bread. And we're not talking 12-grain stuff. They bought raisin bread, blueberry bread, wheat bread (not the good kind) and tortillas. Oh, and hot dog buns. And cheeses (three kinds). And crackers. Again, three kinds. And they bought something they have never, ever, EVER had in their house (except at Christmas) since I've been working with them: cookies. WHAT??? I could hear them calling me so we had to have a little chat, cookies and I. It went like this:
...and I ate one - I don't think I even tasted it; just threw it down the hatch because it was an old habit. Then I reached for another one. But before I ate it, I twisted it in half (it was a vanilla sandwich cookie) and gave the non-creamy half to Stella. This time, I stopped and tasted the cookie. And I thought, "meh. really wasn't that great. and sure not worth blowing my progress over!" and I put the rest away. Ta-da!! YAY, ME!
I have so much more that I want to say but, to be honest, I am thoroughly exhausted - I'll add more about food choices on Thursday's blog!
This has been a week of much progress - I've made some amazing new friends *waves at Michael, Kiki and Corey* and I know with their encouragement, with Joe's faithful friendship, with the support of my wonderful boyfriend, Marc, and my own determination, I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL. END. OF. STORY!
Now get up and dance with me - if I can do this, you can too!!!
Love and booty-shaking Zumba moves,
Kelley
xoxo
Anyway, Zumba! Tonight marked a special milestone for me - this is the first class I've attended in which I actually made it through the whole class without any breaks (minus a very quick power pee break - but the bathroom's *makes hand gesture to the left of her body* right over there, just off the dance floor, so it's no biggie). Also, I'm starting to get to know some of the moves so I don't feel quite as ridiculous as I did at first. That's a VERY good thing. And at the end (this is my favourite part) - we do this cool down routine that involves punching into the air over and over again. This probably isn't the most lady-like confession I'll ever make but here's what I do: Every time I punch, I think of someone who told me I'm a bad person, a failure, or that I wouldn't ever be anything on my own. Take THAT, exhusband! Take THAT, jerk-ex who stole $20,000 from me and left the country! Take THAT, person who told me that fat people look like beached crustacians! Take THAT everyone who I've ever let make me feel bad about myself! Pow! Pow! Pow! I love that part!! It makes me feel incredibly empowered - is that bad? I hope not... because it really gives me motivation to excel! At the end of class, we're all little more than walking balls of noodly legs and sweat (gross, I know. Sorry about that but it's true) but we all feel GREAT and we know we just had an amazing work out!
What about food choices? This week has presented an interesting challenge for me. I eat my meals at my clients' houses. That's just the arrangement - how it's always been. Until this week, that's been totally fine. My clients choose really healthy, organic foods - heavy on the fruits and veggies so I thought "no problem!" about the diet. Well. Wouldn't you know it? This week, they didn't buy any fresh vegetables at all and only a couple of fruits. Instead, they bought all kinds of bread. And we're not talking 12-grain stuff. They bought raisin bread, blueberry bread, wheat bread (not the good kind) and tortillas. Oh, and hot dog buns. And cheeses (three kinds). And crackers. Again, three kinds. And they bought something they have never, ever, EVER had in their house (except at Christmas) since I've been working with them: cookies. WHAT??? I could hear them calling me so we had to have a little chat, cookies and I. It went like this:
Cookies: Keellleeyyy.....
Me: *ignoring the cookies*
Cookies: Keeeeellllleeeeyyyyy.....!
Me: *ignoring the cookies*
Cookies: KEEEELLLLEEEEYYYYYY!!!
Me: "Cookies! LOOK. I am TRYING to lose weight. You are NOT part of the process, now please! Leave me alone!"
Cookies: Oh, come on, Kelley! We're old friends! We mean no harm - just one bite for old time's sake!
Me: No!
Cookies: Come on.... you know you wanna!
Me: NO!
Cookies: But we're so creamy... and you haven't had one of us in a while. Come on...!
Me: *sigh* Fine. FINE! But only one!
...and I ate one - I don't think I even tasted it; just threw it down the hatch because it was an old habit. Then I reached for another one. But before I ate it, I twisted it in half (it was a vanilla sandwich cookie) and gave the non-creamy half to Stella. This time, I stopped and tasted the cookie. And I thought, "meh. really wasn't that great. and sure not worth blowing my progress over!" and I put the rest away. Ta-da!! YAY, ME!
I have so much more that I want to say but, to be honest, I am thoroughly exhausted - I'll add more about food choices on Thursday's blog!
This has been a week of much progress - I've made some amazing new friends *waves at Michael, Kiki and Corey* and I know with their encouragement, with Joe's faithful friendship, with the support of my wonderful boyfriend, Marc, and my own determination, I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL. END. OF. STORY!
Now get up and dance with me - if I can do this, you can too!!!
Love and booty-shaking Zumba moves,
Kelley
xoxo
Monday, July 12, 2010
Post 43 - Monday Night, Hooray!
You know, since tonight is my "night off" from exercise (technically - I'll go for a big walk anyway), I'm going to dedicate this post to something about my weight loss/healthy lifestyle adventure that isn't about Zumba, for a change! This blog is going to be about making smart choices.
I went grocery shopping last night and was absolutely amazed by how my shopping list has changed in just one week! I used to fill up my cart with processed convenience foods - I work long hours and couldn't see myself cooking big meals for one, especially in this humid weather! So I simply bought loads of junk that was convenient. Pastas, white rice, more pasta, Hot Pockets (well, okay, Lean Pockets but really how lean are they when you eat two of them??), chips, more pasta... you get the idea. After watching last week's episode of Dance Your A** Off, however, I got an idea and decided that, while it's too hot to cook, it's certainly not too hot to eat fresh veggies and fruits! That's right - I decided it was time to re-introduce myself to produce. By itself. No more thinly-veiled "how do you do, apple? let's see how you look wrapped in this lovely caramel sauce," for me! I actually ate a plain apple. And it was GOOD. Next up? Fresh broccoli. Oh. Em. Gee. I'd forgotten how flavorful fresh broccoli is! It's really, really good. Eat a bunch of green grapes? Sure! Snack on baby carrots? Don't mind if I do! Fresh fruits and vegetables taste delicious all by themselves - how had I forgotten this?!
But then! dun-dun-DUN... I was invited to a brunch buffet on Saturday following my Zumba class.
Hmmm.
A brunch.
buffet.
And someone else was paying.
How could I possibly say no? But what to do? What to do?? Brunch buffets are loaded with carby badness that just calls my name when I get within earshot! Then I remembered what my Season 2 DYAO buddy, Michael Brooks (click on his name to see his webpage), told me. "It's mind or matter, Kelley. You've got to convince yourself that you can do it." And that was that.
I did go to the brunch buffet. Guess what - I made right choices! I loaded my plate so that it was nearly overflowing! With fresh peas, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and carrots. With delicious watermelon, blueberries, honeydew and cantaloupe. I did try a taste of the cream cheese with chocolate chips thingie but you know what? A taste was all I needed! And then I went right back to my grapes. I went back for a second plate and this time tried some eggs. Normally, I'd have gone for the denver omelet and topped it with cheese. This time, I chose egg whites that had diced tomatoes, onions and mushrooms mixed in. And you know what? It tasted just as good - no lie! This might sound a little goofy but I was really worried about seeing all kinds of empty on my plate just begging to be loaded with bacon, sausage and waffles so instead of walking away, I went over to the veggies section again and added more mushrooms. I did take two flax seed crackers but I don't think that's any big deal.
So guess what happened after that? I was FULL. But not that "oh my God, I need to undo my pants and go into a food coma right this MINUTE" kind of full. Just a pleasant, "wow, I ate a lot of good stuff that's good for me," full. And that's really the only big meal I ate on Saturday. I went for a walk, rested, read... sat bolt upright in the afternoon and thought, "Oh no! I'm going to blow off my workout if I don't get outside right this minute!!" then immediately chuckled and remembered, "Oh wait. never mind... I already had my workout this morning!" I was so proud of myself. Michael is right and I'm going to keep telling myself every, single day: it's MIND over MATTER and I can do it!
T0night after work, I'm going to get Jillian and take her for a long walk to the doggie beach. After that, we're coming home to eat. She gets some gourmet dog food stuff I got from PetCo (I can't ever remember the name... Avondale something?) and I get a delicious chef salad sprinkled with freshly ground flax seeds and topped with a seasoned chicken breast. After that, I'm going to take my shower, get into my jammies, then watch the new episode of DYAO Season 2 while chatting with Michael (he's hosting Oxygen's west coast chat tonight, if you'd like to say hello)!
One last thing - to the many, many of you who are reading my blog, even if you're not a "follower" yet (click the right side of this screen to follow me, by the way); to all of you who've taken time to email, to send me private messages here and elsewhere and to those of you who've been kind enough to comment here on my blog, thank you! You inspire me to keep pushing forward - I'm so grateful for you!!!
Love and laughter and lots of fresh produce ;-)
Kelley
I went grocery shopping last night and was absolutely amazed by how my shopping list has changed in just one week! I used to fill up my cart with processed convenience foods - I work long hours and couldn't see myself cooking big meals for one, especially in this humid weather! So I simply bought loads of junk that was convenient. Pastas, white rice, more pasta, Hot Pockets (well, okay, Lean Pockets but really how lean are they when you eat two of them??), chips, more pasta... you get the idea. After watching last week's episode of Dance Your A** Off, however, I got an idea and decided that, while it's too hot to cook, it's certainly not too hot to eat fresh veggies and fruits! That's right - I decided it was time to re-introduce myself to produce. By itself. No more thinly-veiled "how do you do, apple? let's see how you look wrapped in this lovely caramel sauce," for me! I actually ate a plain apple. And it was GOOD. Next up? Fresh broccoli. Oh. Em. Gee. I'd forgotten how flavorful fresh broccoli is! It's really, really good. Eat a bunch of green grapes? Sure! Snack on baby carrots? Don't mind if I do! Fresh fruits and vegetables taste delicious all by themselves - how had I forgotten this?!
But then! dun-dun-DUN... I was invited to a brunch buffet on Saturday following my Zumba class.
Hmmm.
A brunch.
buffet.
And someone else was paying.
How could I possibly say no? But what to do? What to do?? Brunch buffets are loaded with carby badness that just calls my name when I get within earshot! Then I remembered what my Season 2 DYAO buddy, Michael Brooks (click on his name to see his webpage), told me. "It's mind or matter, Kelley. You've got to convince yourself that you can do it." And that was that.
I did go to the brunch buffet. Guess what - I made right choices! I loaded my plate so that it was nearly overflowing! With fresh peas, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and carrots. With delicious watermelon, blueberries, honeydew and cantaloupe. I did try a taste of the cream cheese with chocolate chips thingie but you know what? A taste was all I needed! And then I went right back to my grapes. I went back for a second plate and this time tried some eggs. Normally, I'd have gone for the denver omelet and topped it with cheese. This time, I chose egg whites that had diced tomatoes, onions and mushrooms mixed in. And you know what? It tasted just as good - no lie! This might sound a little goofy but I was really worried about seeing all kinds of empty on my plate just begging to be loaded with bacon, sausage and waffles so instead of walking away, I went over to the veggies section again and added more mushrooms. I did take two flax seed crackers but I don't think that's any big deal.
So guess what happened after that? I was FULL. But not that "oh my God, I need to undo my pants and go into a food coma right this MINUTE" kind of full. Just a pleasant, "wow, I ate a lot of good stuff that's good for me," full. And that's really the only big meal I ate on Saturday. I went for a walk, rested, read... sat bolt upright in the afternoon and thought, "Oh no! I'm going to blow off my workout if I don't get outside right this minute!!" then immediately chuckled and remembered, "Oh wait. never mind... I already had my workout this morning!" I was so proud of myself. Michael is right and I'm going to keep telling myself every, single day: it's MIND over MATTER and I can do it!
T0night after work, I'm going to get Jillian and take her for a long walk to the doggie beach. After that, we're coming home to eat. She gets some gourmet dog food stuff I got from PetCo (I can't ever remember the name... Avondale something?) and I get a delicious chef salad sprinkled with freshly ground flax seeds and topped with a seasoned chicken breast. After that, I'm going to take my shower, get into my jammies, then watch the new episode of DYAO Season 2 while chatting with Michael (he's hosting Oxygen's west coast chat tonight, if you'd like to say hello)!
One last thing - to the many, many of you who are reading my blog, even if you're not a "follower" yet (click the right side of this screen to follow me, by the way); to all of you who've taken time to email, to send me private messages here and elsewhere and to those of you who've been kind enough to comment here on my blog, thank you! You inspire me to keep pushing forward - I'm so grateful for you!!!
Love and laughter and lots of fresh produce ;-)
Kelley
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Post 42 - Saturday Stuff
Well I did it! I went to my second Zumba class this morning. And I am veeeery proud of myself. Why, you ask? Because I did NOT want to go. I mean, it was bad:
...and so I went. And, while I was a couple of minutes late, I did it. I did it, I did it, I did it! Mind over matter (and a little convincing from my friends), baby, I DID it! Three things - no, four! - made it happen.
Thanks guys!! We're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it!!
Love, laughter and success to you all,
Kelley
xoxo
p.s. If you're in the Chicago area, Dance Spa (click here to see their website) will be hosting a lose weight/get fit contest! The details aren't out quite yet but the grand prize is a free year of Zumba classes. A. Free. Year. Joe tells me he understands my pre-contest jealousy at his future win. I tell him to get to the back of the line because that prize is MINE! All kidding aside, we're excited about the contest and we hope you'll join us! I'll post more info as the plan unfolds...
7:45am - *alarm ring*
Me: $#%&@!!!
7:50 - I sigh and get out of bed
7:51 - I go to the bathroom and realize that Mother Nature has brought her monthly *gift* oh joy. I decide not to go to Zumba.
7:52 - I decide I have to go to Zumba.
7:53 - I decide one day off won't matter.
7:54 - I know I'm lying to myself if I really think that one day off won't matter.
7:55 - I nearly convince myself that it really IS just one day. And it won't matter.
(this goes on until I actually walk out the door at 8:50)
9:00 - I'm waiting for the bus and I think, "I really don't feel great; I have cramps. I need to lie down. I should just go back home."
9:05 - I'm on the bus. "I can just get off at the next stop and grab a bus going the other way"
9:07 - I receive a text from Joe: "Hey where u at I'm on The train heading there now"
9:12 - Me inside my head: "crap! now I HAVE to go!" Me to Joe: I'm on the bus - might be a couple of minutes late but I'm on my way :) "
...and so I went. And, while I was a couple of minutes late, I did it. I did it, I did it, I did it! Mind over matter (and a little convincing from my friends), baby, I DID it! Three things - no, four! - made it happen.
- My new friend, Michael Brooks' words: "it's mind over matter, Kelley. Convince yourself you can do it!"
- Joe's text... perfectly timed, as always - thank you, sweetie!
- Lisa Ann Walters' willingness to showcase my efforts and her sweet, sweet comment on Post 40!
- Christa, my wonderful, perky Zumba teacher... how could I possibly let her down and not show up? No way. Can't do it!
Thanks guys!! We're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it!!
Love, laughter and success to you all,
Kelley
xoxo
p.s. If you're in the Chicago area, Dance Spa (click here to see their website) will be hosting a lose weight/get fit contest! The details aren't out quite yet but the grand prize is a free year of Zumba classes. A. Free. Year. Joe tells me he understands my pre-contest jealousy at his future win. I tell him to get to the back of the line because that prize is MINE! All kidding aside, we're excited about the contest and we hope you'll join us! I'll post more info as the plan unfolds...
Friday, July 9, 2010
Post 41 - ZUMBA!
Okay, now that Joe and I have definitely signed our names on the dotted line (so to speak), our first, specific action plan was to sign up for a dance/exercise class. Enter Christa South, owner of Dance Spa South in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood. How to describe our experience? Well, why don't I just walk you through our first day?
After discussing available class times, Joe and I agreed that the 7pm class on Wednesday was the best time for both of us. When we arrived at the studio, we were greeted by this peppy, little ball of pure energy and smiles named Christa. After explaining the basic premise of the class and telling us a little general information about her studio, Christa brought us over to meet the rest of the class. Joe and I were so pleased to see that the other students came in all shapes and sizes (we have to admit, we were a tiny bit self conscious at first about being on the bigger side). Everyone was so warm and friendly and we immediately felt at ease.
Suddenly it was time to get started! Eager to be the "good student," I ran right up to the front of the room. Joe (who, in retrospect, I think made the smarter move) lined up toward the back of the group. Christa explained that she would not talk through the class but would indicate a change of motions by either pointing, turning her head or making an exaggerated gesture so we knew something new would be coming. She also told us not to worry if we didn't get the move right away - we should watch, follow and just keep moving. "Sounds doable!" I thought to myself... once the music began, we launched into a series of stretches and warm-up work that felt easy enough. The music was fun and made you want to get up and move... "so far, so good!" ran through my mind. When the second song started, we got moving. Big movements, wide steps, arms up high! After that song was over, here's a play-by-play of what went through my mind:
After the class ended, Joe and I talked with Christa about our goals. What a wonderful person - she is so excited to be a part of our new beginning... and she made us even more excited than we already are.
Guys, I don't know who's reading this blog but I want you to know something important, okay? Everyone has challenges that hold them back but you know what? Life is so, so short and so, so precious. Don't waste another minute wishing you had the energy and determination to change on your own - you can do this. You can! If you're overweight like Joe and like me and like thousands of others, don't wait another day to make this change for yourself. Just get up and move. Find a class, go for a walk, take a bike ride. But get up and move. I'm doing it. Joe's doing it. The contestants on Dance Your Ass Off are doing it. I learned that even Mel B. did it! We're all just regular, everyday people who have decided we are finished with our old habits and we're determined to become the very best we can be. You can do it too. And I'm going to be right here cheering you on!
Much love and laughter,
Kelley
xoxo
After discussing available class times, Joe and I agreed that the 7pm class on Wednesday was the best time for both of us. When we arrived at the studio, we were greeted by this peppy, little ball of pure energy and smiles named Christa. After explaining the basic premise of the class and telling us a little general information about her studio, Christa brought us over to meet the rest of the class. Joe and I were so pleased to see that the other students came in all shapes and sizes (we have to admit, we were a tiny bit self conscious at first about being on the bigger side). Everyone was so warm and friendly and we immediately felt at ease.
Suddenly it was time to get started! Eager to be the "good student," I ran right up to the front of the room. Joe (who, in retrospect, I think made the smarter move) lined up toward the back of the group. Christa explained that she would not talk through the class but would indicate a change of motions by either pointing, turning her head or making an exaggerated gesture so we knew something new would be coming. She also told us not to worry if we didn't get the move right away - we should watch, follow and just keep moving. "Sounds doable!" I thought to myself... once the music began, we launched into a series of stretches and warm-up work that felt easy enough. The music was fun and made you want to get up and move... "so far, so good!" ran through my mind. When the second song started, we got moving. Big movements, wide steps, arms up high! After that song was over, here's a play-by-play of what went through my mind:
7:07 (second song ends) WOW! That was GREAT! What a workout! Woooooo! (then I look at the clock) What? I still have 53 minutes to go?? Crap.
7:15 Okay. I'm doing it. My GOD, it hurts, but I'm doing it!
7:16 I can't do it. I just can't!
7:17 I'm still doing it. This suuuuuuuuuuucks..... but I'm doing it!
At 7:30 I can feel my face is flushed and I start feeling a little light-headed so I take a five minute break. I think I peed a little (way tmi, I know, but ladies, I know I'm not the only one!)... then again, hell, for all I know, I'm just sweating in places that aren't supposed to be sweating! So I go into the bathroom, make sure the bladder's empty (no more of those worries, please and thank you), splash some water on my beet red face and walk around a little to keep my heart pumping without feeling like I'm going to faint.
7:35 Back in I go. Woooo! (I'm not feeling "woooo" but I force my brain to tell my body that's what we're feeling anyway.)
7:45 15 minutes to go - I'm going to make it! Oh dear Lord, I'm going to make it!
At 7:50, Christa shouts happily "Come on, everyone! In a great big circle!" and the group starts doing some running this way/dancing that way/waving arms and jumping thing.
7:51 Okay, this looks like it should be really fun. I'm exhausted. My body doesn't want to do this. But I'm going to make myself do this and we're going to have fun doing this, even if my mind has to beat my body into submission! *gritting teeth in what I hope looks like a smile*
At 7:55, Christa brings us back to our original places and we begin to cool down. It feels wonderful to stretch my body and feel my heartbeat slowly come back down to its normal speed. I begin thinking about my goals. How I got to be overweight. How I'm determined not to make this my legacy. How I want to be proud of myself for this and how much I want to help others who are just like me succeed, too. And I begin to cry. It finally occurred to me: after years and years of saying "I'm going to do this; I'm going to get back in shape and I'm going to feel good about myself inside and out," I'm finally doing it. And it's an overwhelming sensation that's difficult to put into words. So I just cry quietly with a smile on my face (hoping, of course, that no one notices it's tears running down my face and not just sweat!).
After the class ended, Joe and I talked with Christa about our goals. What a wonderful person - she is so excited to be a part of our new beginning... and she made us even more excited than we already are.
Guys, I don't know who's reading this blog but I want you to know something important, okay? Everyone has challenges that hold them back but you know what? Life is so, so short and so, so precious. Don't waste another minute wishing you had the energy and determination to change on your own - you can do this. You can! If you're overweight like Joe and like me and like thousands of others, don't wait another day to make this change for yourself. Just get up and move. Find a class, go for a walk, take a bike ride. But get up and move. I'm doing it. Joe's doing it. The contestants on Dance Your Ass Off are doing it. I learned that even Mel B. did it! We're all just regular, everyday people who have decided we are finished with our old habits and we're determined to become the very best we can be. You can do it too. And I'm going to be right here cheering you on!
Much love and laughter,
Kelley
xoxo
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Post 40 - Dancing My Ass Off (how it all began)
You may or may not know (if you've read my whole blog, you do know!) that, when I came to Chicago, it was, in large part, for a much-needed do-over in life and that, when I got here, things weren't quite as easy as I thought they'd be. Luckily, I'm a fighter with a positive attitude and, though there were days (days?? Try weeks!) When I wanted to just curl into the fetal position and give up, I refused to quit!
Part of that refusal to quit involves weight loss and healthier living. I was very thin throughout most of my teens and twenties. Until I met my (now ex) husband, Randy. Due to his own insecurities about my friendly personality, he convinced me that it would be better for me to be heavy and so I gained weight. More than 100 lbs. to be more specific. I could kick myself for believing that could ever be a positive thing but what's done is done and I decided it was time to move forward.
Enter the Dance Your Ass Off reality competition. I first saw this show on Oxygen as I was flipping channels to find something else but, the minute I saw these people - big people like me - dancing with all they've got, I was mesmerized! The premise of the show is kind of a combination of The Biggest Loser and So You Think You Can Dance. You get the idea, right? I watched DYAO diligently to the very end and cheered with everyone when Reuben won. But I realized I wasn't only cheering for Reuben. I was also cheering for every one of those contestants who was willing to appear on national television revealing their struggles and their triumphs as they made this life-changing journey. I mean, seriously. If standing on national television wearing midriff baring spandex when you weigh more than 200 lbs. Isn't an exercise in bravery, I don't know what is!
A few months later, I heard auditions would be held in Chicago for DYAO and I decided to attend. I made it past the first couple of rounds (yay me!) But then we had to learn a dance routine that involved the "pop & lock." Um. Excuse me? Okay, full disclosure here: I'm from the farmlands and I'm over 40. They still do the Boot Scootin' Boogie where I'm from (not kidding). My thought as everyone around me was jumping up and down cheering about getting to pop & lock was, "oh sh**. What the f*** is pop & lock and how in the world am I going to teach my body to move like that in 30 minutes or less?" I psyched myself out and that was the end of the DYAO audition line for me.
But then something happened. Lisa Ann Walter (executive producer/creator/judge of the show) said, "I wish I could bring you all with me; please don't give up - come back next year, okay?" and, bless her heart, I knew she meant every word. Here's the thing. I didn't want to get on the show to win the prize or to be on television. I wanted to get on the show because I am PASSIONATE about making this change in my own life and because I want to inspire others to make their own changes right along with me. As Lisa Ann said "come back next year," it hit me: I don't want to wait another day to make these changes and I don't have to be on a popular television show to motivate others to join me! So I started walking. I started watching my food intake, making a few, healthy substitutions at a time. And. I'm. DOING IT!
Fairly soon after the auditions, I joined the DYAO Facebook family - what an amazing, inspiring group of people! The active members include the judges, the professional dancers, contestants (past and present) and the fans and it is an ACTIVE group, let me tell you! One of the best things was meeting my new friend, Joe Castillon. Joe also auditioned for the show and didn't make it. And, like me, Joe said, "I'm not waiting to make these changes in my life!" Since January, Joe has lost more than 50 lbs. and I have lost 30lbs. We also joined a Zumba class last night. We are DETERMINED to succeed. This is my story of OUR journey as we dance our asses off in Chicago - we sincerely hope you'll join us as we share our experience!
Part of that refusal to quit involves weight loss and healthier living. I was very thin throughout most of my teens and twenties. Until I met my (now ex) husband, Randy. Due to his own insecurities about my friendly personality, he convinced me that it would be better for me to be heavy and so I gained weight. More than 100 lbs. to be more specific. I could kick myself for believing that could ever be a positive thing but what's done is done and I decided it was time to move forward.
Enter the Dance Your Ass Off reality competition. I first saw this show on Oxygen as I was flipping channels to find something else but, the minute I saw these people - big people like me - dancing with all they've got, I was mesmerized! The premise of the show is kind of a combination of The Biggest Loser and So You Think You Can Dance. You get the idea, right? I watched DYAO diligently to the very end and cheered with everyone when Reuben won. But I realized I wasn't only cheering for Reuben. I was also cheering for every one of those contestants who was willing to appear on national television revealing their struggles and their triumphs as they made this life-changing journey. I mean, seriously. If standing on national television wearing midriff baring spandex when you weigh more than 200 lbs. Isn't an exercise in bravery, I don't know what is!
A few months later, I heard auditions would be held in Chicago for DYAO and I decided to attend. I made it past the first couple of rounds (yay me!) But then we had to learn a dance routine that involved the "pop & lock." Um. Excuse me? Okay, full disclosure here: I'm from the farmlands and I'm over 40. They still do the Boot Scootin' Boogie where I'm from (not kidding). My thought as everyone around me was jumping up and down cheering about getting to pop & lock was, "oh sh**. What the f*** is pop & lock and how in the world am I going to teach my body to move like that in 30 minutes or less?" I psyched myself out and that was the end of the DYAO audition line for me.
But then something happened. Lisa Ann Walter (executive producer/creator/judge of the show) said, "I wish I could bring you all with me; please don't give up - come back next year, okay?" and, bless her heart, I knew she meant every word. Here's the thing. I didn't want to get on the show to win the prize or to be on television. I wanted to get on the show because I am PASSIONATE about making this change in my own life and because I want to inspire others to make their own changes right along with me. As Lisa Ann said "come back next year," it hit me: I don't want to wait another day to make these changes and I don't have to be on a popular television show to motivate others to join me! So I started walking. I started watching my food intake, making a few, healthy substitutions at a time. And. I'm. DOING IT!
Fairly soon after the auditions, I joined the DYAO Facebook family - what an amazing, inspiring group of people! The active members include the judges, the professional dancers, contestants (past and present) and the fans and it is an ACTIVE group, let me tell you! One of the best things was meeting my new friend, Joe Castillon. Joe also auditioned for the show and didn't make it. And, like me, Joe said, "I'm not waiting to make these changes in my life!" Since January, Joe has lost more than 50 lbs. and I have lost 30lbs. We also joined a Zumba class last night. We are DETERMINED to succeed. This is my story of OUR journey as we dance our asses off in Chicago - we sincerely hope you'll join us as we share our experience!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Post 39 - Adventures In Doggy Baths
Today's slide show involves a bath time experiment with my dog, Jilly. She hates baths. In fact, she's the only lab I've ever seen who hates water. But she does. H.A.T.E.S. it. So bath time is a huge pain in the a$$. An acquaintance of mine mentioned that she smears peanut butter on the side of her tub and her dog (not a fan of bathing) pretty much lets her do whatever as long as he gets to nosh on peanut butter while she's doing it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained so I gave it a try and here, for your viewing pleasure, are the results. THANKS, MELANIE S. FROM YELP!!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Post 38 - Pride Week in Chicago
Wow. This was a CRAZY day... and I am thoroughly, utterly exhausted! As usual, I'm long over-due for an update but hey, you know what? I'm still keeping this blog active several months after I started it so, to me, that's a major victory. And thank you especially to Leah for prodding my butt and reminding me occasionally to keep at it. Teena too!
So today I went to my first Chicago Gay Pride Parade. I was informed that, while it's the second largest in the nation (San Francisco, of course, is the largest but honestly, after this three hour long thing today, I can't imagine that SF's parade is much bigger), it's the oldest pride parade! Anyway, WOW, what a day. I don't normally drink - not that I'm against it or anything; I just don't usually want to spend the money on something that's likely to make me act stupid and feel crummy the next day. But today was a day of fun and support and Duffy's had 44 oz. Pink Electric Lemonades at a killer price so... what's a girl to do? I bought a beverage. And it was GOOD.
My good friend and former flat mate, Hunter, met up with me and we had a blast! And, oh my, some of the things people wore were a little on the crazy side but, for the most part, it wasn't ridiculous or obscene, just people celebrating life and supporting each other. And. I. SAW. THE. STANLEY. CUP. From, like, 5 feet away (no joke)... it's HUGE! And Chely Wright was the Grand Marshall - how cool is that? Don't know who she is? Google her.
You know, as a Christian, I think a lot about this "gay thing." I have more questions than answers and most of my questions are based on the hateful exclusion of people for being gay. I mean, when I went through my divorce, the people from my church were so horrible to me. I was hurting and they turned their backs on me. My gay co-workers were the ones who held me up and said, "you're okay, honey, and this is hard but it's going to get better." I just don't understand. I mean, if being gay is a sin, then that's between that person and God. But if it IS a sin... doesn't the Bible say to obey the laws of the land? And doesn't the Bible say that there is only one unforgivable sin? And that in God's eyes, other than that one thing, a sin is a sin is a sin? If so... then why aren't people who break the law by speeding ostracized by the church? Why aren't people who pilfer a pen or a pad of paper from work called out? Why is it only the people who do drugs or the people who live lifestyles of an "alternate sexual choice?" I don't think I'll ever understand that as long as I have breath in this body.
But enough of that! On with the show! (more photos to follow when I have time to upload them)
So today I went to my first Chicago Gay Pride Parade. I was informed that, while it's the second largest in the nation (San Francisco, of course, is the largest but honestly, after this three hour long thing today, I can't imagine that SF's parade is much bigger), it's the oldest pride parade! Anyway, WOW, what a day. I don't normally drink - not that I'm against it or anything; I just don't usually want to spend the money on something that's likely to make me act stupid and feel crummy the next day. But today was a day of fun and support and Duffy's had 44 oz. Pink Electric Lemonades at a killer price so... what's a girl to do? I bought a beverage. And it was GOOD.
My good friend and former flat mate, Hunter, met up with me and we had a blast! And, oh my, some of the things people wore were a little on the crazy side but, for the most part, it wasn't ridiculous or obscene, just people celebrating life and supporting each other. And. I. SAW. THE. STANLEY. CUP. From, like, 5 feet away (no joke)... it's HUGE! And Chely Wright was the Grand Marshall - how cool is that? Don't know who she is? Google her.
You know, as a Christian, I think a lot about this "gay thing." I have more questions than answers and most of my questions are based on the hateful exclusion of people for being gay. I mean, when I went through my divorce, the people from my church were so horrible to me. I was hurting and they turned their backs on me. My gay co-workers were the ones who held me up and said, "you're okay, honey, and this is hard but it's going to get better." I just don't understand. I mean, if being gay is a sin, then that's between that person and God. But if it IS a sin... doesn't the Bible say to obey the laws of the land? And doesn't the Bible say that there is only one unforgivable sin? And that in God's eyes, other than that one thing, a sin is a sin is a sin? If so... then why aren't people who break the law by speeding ostracized by the church? Why aren't people who pilfer a pen or a pad of paper from work called out? Why is it only the people who do drugs or the people who live lifestyles of an "alternate sexual choice?" I don't think I'll ever understand that as long as I have breath in this body.
But enough of that! On with the show! (more photos to follow when I have time to upload them)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Post 37 - What A Whirlwind!!!
Wow, so lots of updates to share!
First, the visit with Marc. Can I just say this? I'm in love. No, make that Love. Capital L, no doubt about it. And make no mistake - I don't think either one of us is putting on the "oh, we're new and in love so everything is forgivable" act (hahaha)! But I am so happy, so excited about our future... finally finally finally, life feels right on track. It's difficult to explain. I mean, it's not that Marc completes me. For the first time in my life, I feel complete all by myself. But we bring out the best in each other - for SURE. And that is most definitely a good thing!
We had to say our "see you later" on Monday, 7 June. I was a little teary but not overly dramatic because I know our path now. This wasn't "good bye;" it really was, "see you soon - now hurry back!" We've got a lot of work to do and it all starts with me. I'm still not legally divorced from the ex and he's buggered off to who-knows-where in England. So finally, I can file for a default divorce. Thank GOODNESS. Once that's done, Marc and I are on our way to a K-1 visa journey together. Hooray!
Work! What's going on with work? Everything! I'm still nannying/managing households by day. But I've begun writing again (yes, for pay) at night - which is a big reason why I haven't been here. I'm writing and writing at a frenzied pace every day but it's not always here on this blog. I need to do something about that. A little check-in now and again to keep the pulse vibrating. Also, I think I need some sort of focus instead of just writing willy-nilly about whatever's in my head. I'll give that some thought!
So what else is going on? My youngest has been here with me for the past couple of weeks. She arrived the Saturday before Marc left. A week later, one of her best friends arrived and will be staying with us until Thursday. They've been wonderful and very, very... 8th grade (as well they should be at 12 and 13 years old)! So I'm happy as a clam that they're here and I'm utterly exhausted as well! Let's see... the friend leaves on Thursday and then, on Friday, my 15 year old arrives with one of her closest friends. I'll have two 15 year olds and a 12 year old occupying every corner of my tiny apartment. Pray for me! hahaha!
Alrighty, I need to get back to work for now but I really didn't want to let another day go by without checking in, whoever you are... chat soon!
First, the visit with Marc. Can I just say this? I'm in love. No, make that Love. Capital L, no doubt about it. And make no mistake - I don't think either one of us is putting on the "oh, we're new and in love so everything is forgivable" act (hahaha)! But I am so happy, so excited about our future... finally finally finally, life feels right on track. It's difficult to explain. I mean, it's not that Marc completes me. For the first time in my life, I feel complete all by myself. But we bring out the best in each other - for SURE. And that is most definitely a good thing!
We had to say our "see you later" on Monday, 7 June. I was a little teary but not overly dramatic because I know our path now. This wasn't "good bye;" it really was, "see you soon - now hurry back!" We've got a lot of work to do and it all starts with me. I'm still not legally divorced from the ex and he's buggered off to who-knows-where in England. So finally, I can file for a default divorce. Thank GOODNESS. Once that's done, Marc and I are on our way to a K-1 visa journey together. Hooray!
Work! What's going on with work? Everything! I'm still nannying/managing households by day. But I've begun writing again (yes, for pay) at night - which is a big reason why I haven't been here. I'm writing and writing at a frenzied pace every day but it's not always here on this blog. I need to do something about that. A little check-in now and again to keep the pulse vibrating. Also, I think I need some sort of focus instead of just writing willy-nilly about whatever's in my head. I'll give that some thought!
So what else is going on? My youngest has been here with me for the past couple of weeks. She arrived the Saturday before Marc left. A week later, one of her best friends arrived and will be staying with us until Thursday. They've been wonderful and very, very... 8th grade (as well they should be at 12 and 13 years old)! So I'm happy as a clam that they're here and I'm utterly exhausted as well! Let's see... the friend leaves on Thursday and then, on Friday, my 15 year old arrives with one of her closest friends. I'll have two 15 year olds and a 12 year old occupying every corner of my tiny apartment. Pray for me! hahaha!
Alrighty, I need to get back to work for now but I really didn't want to let another day go by without checking in, whoever you are... chat soon!
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