Day 23 (Post 21) - I'm Here, I'm Here, I'm Here!

First things first: Apologies and thanks! I apologise for not posting daily; I said I would, darn it! The only excuse I have is that I've been spending time with my kids, working a lot, and by the end of the day, I've been so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I'm not adjusting well to this whole "spring forward" time change thing (I've always hated it but this year seems to be particularly exhausting) and it's stormy season here in the Windy City which means that my dog (who hates storms as much as I hate time changes) keeps me up for hours in the middle of the night. Bleah! Those are my lame excuses and it's time to get back on track! I think, rather than saying "I'm going to do this every, single day for a year," I'm amending my goal to 365 posts in a year. That way, I won't feel quite as guilty if I get the flu or go out of town & forget the laptop or whatever. So there it is. 365 posts in 365 days! Which brings me to my thanks: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who posted a message, sent an email, etc. saying "what??? no posts?? you're behind!!" Please keep holding me accountable - it helps!!!

And on to the goings on in the world of Kelley:

Last weekend, my youngest daughter came to spend Easter weekend with me. For those who don't know her, my daughter has been battling an anxiety disorder since she was 7 years old. It's called trichotillomania, which means that she pulls her hair out as a stress reliever. She actually overcame her disorder last summer and I am SO proud of her! However, her replacement hair growth has been very slow - her hair grows slowly anyway - so she wears her hair up every, single day because she is embarrassed about the patch of hair that has clearly not fully grown back in again. I did a lot of thinking about how I could help her - and I have been scrimping and saving every week so that I can save money, restore my credit and do a few things for my kids too. That said, I decided to make some phone calls. On April 17, I'm taking my Bekah in to get hair extensions while her true hair grows in. She cried (you have to understand, she's generally not the teary type) and said it's the best gift she's ever gotten in her life. I love my kids like crazy and to finally be in a position to be able to offer this to her... I can't tell you the joy it gives me. I'll post pictures of the big day when it gets here!

Other goings on: *sigh* *big, big sigh* My boyfriend. I love him. I do. But he's going through a serious depression. Which means that he checks out of life from time to time. I hate it. Passionately. I mean, I understand the need to withdraw from the world when you feel like you're drowning - I do! I've done it! - but I don't understand why, unless you're really angry with someone or hurt by them, someone can't just pick up the phone, send an email, or SOMETHING saying, "I love you and I'm still having a rough day/weekend/week; I'll check in in a few days to let you know how I'm doing." It's been more than three weeks since I've heard from him. That is unacceptably not cool. The first week, I was completely fine with it. Week two was more like, "okay... he'll be back soon." By last week, I was a basket case. This week? This week, I say, "ah well, you know what? It's his problem. If he's not responsible enough to even take the care to check in and let me know he's alive, then I need to quit sitting around being sad and start living my life." So, whenever he gets back online, we'll be having a talk. Depression happens and it's devastating, yes. HOWEVER, that does not make it okay to not have some accountability to this woman he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I'll say it again: I do love him! But you know what? I love ME, too, and if he's not going to make me a priority, guess what? I'M going to make me a priority! Time to live life - I have too much to offer life than to sit around waiting for him to decide whether or not he's going to get his head out of his backside. I hope he does - I truly do! In the meantime, there's a whole world out here for me to explore and enjoy and that's EXACTLY what I'm going to do!

Alright, whoever you are; enough about me. How are YOU? I think about you often. Are you an old friend of mine? A new acquaintance? Someone I haven't met yet but who just reads along occasionally? Well, whoever you are, I'm glad you're here. I just wanted you to know.

Looking forward to our next chat...