Post 48 - A Buncha Stuff!

Hello, hello!

I have so much to tell you but, to be honest, my arms are killing me (more on that in a minute) so I'm not sure how much writing I'll do tonight.

First things first: was DYAO a nail-biter last night or WHAT? Drama, drama, drama! Was the moon in retrograde or something? Even Joe texted me something during the show that made me make the "oh no he di-in't!" face! One of the most amazing things the contestants had to do this week was run around a high school track wearing odd looking silver vests. After they finished their run, they were told that the vests were weighted with the equivalent of all the weight they've lost over the past six weeks. Talk about an emotional moment when they took off those vests; how symbolic, you know? To be able to remove such a burden and to know that they don't ever, ever have to live like that any longer. I was in tears thinking about how proud I am of each and everyone of them and about how I'm doing the same thing in my own journey. Anyhoo! *wipes eyes*

The dance contest was so fun to watch! LaToya and Adamme can DANCE... their skills are fierce. Corey and Stephanie might not have the experience that the other two do but they are just so stinking adorable and expressive with their moves to say nothing of the dance stories their faces tell... they're simply FUN to watch and I giggle when they're on the floor! And my boy, Michael? What can I say? He just makes me smile when I see the concentration and the pure joy on his face. I love them all dearly but Michael's the one who's got my vote! This week, in a close, close contest, it was the lovely Katie's turn to go home, even though we got to see her sassy hidden domme within (and believe me, she was SPICY HOT!). It's getting harder and harder to watch contestants leave the show - I just want everyone to win; is that so bad??

On the work-out front, be proud of me, fellow fitness/weight loss journeypeople - I went to Zumba at Dance SPA. This was my first Tuesday class and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Joe was going to be there today, too! This was another "hustle on over" day because I get off work at 5:30 and......................Zumba starts at 5:30! So I'm about 15 minutes late but not to worry because I get a 45 minute workout and then, when Zumba's over, it's time for the Ab Lab. Now, let me tell you something about the Ab Lab class. It's only 20 minutes long but it's intense. And it works your arms in addition to your abs. Which is why mine feel like rubber tonight. We did push ups. Wall push ups. Which, normally, you would think "WIMP!" However, Christa told us "I know this sounds easy but I promise, promise, promise you - by the end of this song, you're going to hate me!" Well. I don't hate her. I couldn't! But I think my biceps might just a little bit. They'll get over it when I look like a skinny, sexy diva with toned arms.

Abs.... hm. How do I begin to tell you how difficult the ab exercises were for me? Let's put it this way. I haven't done a sit up in....hm. 16 years? Something like that. So here's how it went down:

[6:30] Song one starts. We do crunches. I think, "okay! not too bad - I can do this!"
[6:35] Song ends, Christa says, "WOOO! Great job, everyone! Now we're gonna do 15 more minutes of that!" I want to kill someone but I'm in too much pain to move.
[6:36] Song two starts. We do some sort of thing where you lie on your back with your legs in the air and scissor kick your legs until they're almost to the floor then scissor kick them back up again. I swear I'm not making this up - each time I moved my legs up and down, my back felt like I was lying on bubble wrap. "kick-pop!pop!pop!-kick-pop!pop!pop!" and so on. I didn't finish that exercise but did crunches while everyone else was scissoring away.
[6:40] Aforementioned wall push-ups. I think, "pfff, THESE I can do. Easy-peasy!" (when will I ever learn?)
[6:43] My arms did, in fact, hate her a little I think.

Here's the really amazing thing about working out so hard, though. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, my brain and my body argue throughout the ENTIRE class. BUT! When it's all said and done, I actually feel kind of great when I walk out that door. I think to myself, "I did it! I'm doing it! Lookitme, Lookitme, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" and I look at Joe and think about how proud I am of him because he's doing it too! And, looking around the room at all of these wonderful people who are at so many different levels. They come back week after week and they're doing it, too!

This week, Joe and I signed up for the Dance SPA Zumba Challenge. I wrote about it in an earlier blog post but, for $249, you get unlimited Zumba, Zumba Toning, Ab Labs and Bollywood on the Fly classes plus a whoooooole bunch of other activities, too. I'm really excited about the kick-off party this Sunday at 1pm. A guest consultant will be on hand with some really cool device that measures your water, fat and muscle in your body. I'm also getting weighed in - I haven't had a scale in years and I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. Time to face up to it and see where I'm at in order to find out how far I've got to go, right? I'm ready, scale. Let's do this!

One last thing... when I came online today, I saw the neatest surprise: I won a blogger award! How cool is that?? Look, here it is!



I'm really excited about this and can't wait to pass it forward. There are instructions I need to follow so I'll make sure I post this all correctly tomorrow when I get home from work. Meanwhile, thank you thank you thank you, Chrissie, for this award! By the way, if you're reading my blog and want to check out another phenomenal blogger's weight loss journey, be sure to stop by Chrissie's blog. It's much more colourful than mine and has lots of pictures. You'll like it, I promise!

Speaking of pictures, I leave you with one more photo. Here's what Joe has to say about how we feel toward the end of our Zumba classes (I agree with him):



HAHAHA! Just kidding (mostly)! We love Christa, we love our classmates and we love Zumba, too!


Love and a buncha other good things,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 47 - When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Sure You Have Water and Sugar If You Want Lemonade

So this morning, when my precious boyfriend (whom I adore) and my sweet friend (whom I also adore) both texted me cheery "get up and go" messages, let's just say I didn't use my most lady-like language. I was full of vinegar and NO sugar whatsoever. Let me explain!

I worked a 65 hour week last week. Add to that, the 6 hours of work-related travel time and... we're talking more than 70 hours of work, including two back-to-back work shifts on Thursday and Friday. Exhausting, to say the least! I got home from work just before 1am this morning. Soaking wet because of the rain storm last night (which I actually loved). I peeled off my clothes, threw on some jammies, washed my face and collapsed in bed. I woke up when the alarm went off at 7:15 this morning and used extreme self control in not hurling it across the room. Part of my motivation here is that I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. No alarm clock = no telephone = no good. So I was just relaxing thinking the usual: you know... I can miss JUST ONE DAY. It's raining. I don't want to ruin the studio's floor with my wet shoes. It's just one day! Marc and I were having some lovely little virtual snuggling when I mentioned the word "Zumba." FTW! My loving boyfriend instantly turned into drill sergeant from hell!


[7:53 AM] Marc: hellllooooo!
[7:53 AM] Marc: mmmuah and good moorning!
[7:53 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:54 AM] Marc: i did not want to wake you...I KNEW you had your mobile on alarm i
[7:54 AM] Kelley: one eye half open here
[7:54 AM] Marc: turn and sleep another few minutes!
[7:54 AM] Kelley: mmmmf
[7:55 AM] Kelley: I'm not going to zumba - it's in an hour and I'm too worn out
[7:56 AM] Marc: no way!
[7:56 AM] Marc: YOU
[7:56 AM] Marc: GO!
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP WITH YOU, LAZY ASS!
[7:56 AM] Marc: NOW!
[7:56 AM] Marc: I did not know you have zumba
[7:56 AM] Marc: UP!
[7:56 AM] Marc shakes your bed
[7:58 AM] Kelley *whines*
[8:00 AM] Marc: hop hop!
[8:00 AM] Kelley: i didn't get home til almost 1am
[8:01 AM] Marc: no excuses! you can rest when you are back home! just... DO IT!


At this point, my phone buzzes again. It's Joe (of course):

[8:03 AM] Joe: I'm at Western. Text ya later and get ur ass over here!
[8:03 AM] Kelley: grrrr. Okay! *goes back to sleep*


Back to Marc:

[8:03 AM] Kelley: who to kill first? marc? or joe?
[8:04 AM] Marc: hey, c`mon
[8:05 AM] Marc: its just an hour
[8:05 AM] Marc: if you skip it once, you will skip it more and more


(I think to myself, "*swear word* I hate when he's right and has a good point")

[8:06 AM] Kelley: i hate mornings now more than ever
[8:06 AM] Marc: are you going to zumba?
[8:07 AM] Kelley: *swear words*, YES
[8:07 AM] Marc: gooood girl!
[8:09 AM] Kelley: if you could see the look on my face you'd be very glad you're 4500 miles away right now
[8:09 AM] Marc: i LOVE that face!


So, pissing and moaning, I got up to go to Zumba at Dance Spa. In the rain. After 6 hours of sleep, I might add. Now THAT'S dedication. Okay, well sort of. I still need someone to kick my butt out of bed on Saturday mornings but Rome was not built in a day, people! Anyway. I get up, get out, get to the bus stop and...............................................wait.

And wait.

And wait.

40 minutes later, I was still waiting. The bus tracker said the bus would arrive at 9:27. For a 25 minute drive. Which would get me to class at 10:00-ish. Class begins at 9:30. You see where this is going, right? After much cursing and glowering at buses on other routes, I said to myself, "well, I'm out of the house now, *swear word* so I might as well do something, *swear word!*" And with that, I walked up to Caribou for a medium coffee and 7 grain oatmeal. Might as well at least eat something healthy, right?

As I sat there, I started feeling kind of guilty. I mean, Marc and Joe both really, really mean well and want good things for me. And I kind of felt like I let Christa and everyone else down a little, too. I'm doing this blog. Hundreds of people are reading it. I keep going on and on about how this is going to be a life-changing experience and what do I do? Skip a class? Okay, granted, it wasn't entirely my fault. I was up and ready to go in plenty of time but did I really try my hardest? Was I determined to get there, no matter what?

I tend to beat myself up a bit if I don't give 100%. It's okay. I work better that way.

After a while, I thought, "well, okay. I blew this class - I know it wasn't my fault but I wasn't there. And I'm sure, even with the weather, other people made it." (turns out 22 people made it - wow!!) "So what can I do to turn this into a positive thing?" and with that, I decided to go for a long, long walk. It took me an hour and a half but I walked 4 miles before the sauna known as "Chicago post-rain-storm" got the best of me. My legs feel like rubber. I hope to do two more miles tonight before bed. So there you have it. My own little version of life lemonade.

It's afternoon now. I've had a little rest. My Jilly Bean needs to go out. Maybe I'll see how far we can go before we have to come back...


Love and Life Lemonade,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 46 - Getting Motivated

Today I decided to write about something I struggle with when it comes to exercise: MOTIVATION. Do you ever feel that way? Like, "ugh, I can't do it. I don't want to do it. It's not working anyway so why bother??" That's me to a tee. I practically break my neck to get to the studio for a work out, I get exhausted, I go home and want to cry because, while Joe has already lost, like, 8 pounds, I don't see even one tiny difference in my body. I feel better but I want to look better - right now, please! Okay, logically, I know this is part of the journey. I also know I live in a world of "gotta have it right now" instant gratification. But darn it, it's frustrating!

*bangs head against wall*

Well, I went to Zumba on Wednesday. Let me tell you - just getting to Zumba is an adventure and a half! I live in Chicago and rely on public transportation which means it takes a while to get from Point A to Point B (hey, it's cool - I'm doing my part to reduce my carbon footprint for our environment). So here's how I get from my own Point A (work) to Point B (Zumba):

5:45 - Leave work
5:55 - Get on bus to get home
6:20 - Arrive at home, take dog out for a very quick potty break
6:35 - Leave home
6:40 - Get back on bus to go to Zumba. Text/whine with Joe the entire way.
7:05 - Get off bus to go to Zumba (two blocks away) at Dance Spa South
7:10 - Arrive at Zumba completely out of breath

That's pretty much it. See? Tight schedule! But I make it two times each week. I'm thinking about switching to a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday schedule so I can go three days a week instead of two. Once the three-month special at Dance Spa South that I talked about in my last post kicks off (AUGUST 1, FELLOW CHICAGOANS!!), I'd like to try to be there at least 4 days a week - but maybe that's a little ambitious; I'm not sure! Then again, Christa's offering some incredible things with the package so... maybe I just need to find a way to fit in 4 days!

So how'd this past Wednesday go? Pretty well, except for feeling a little moody about not suddenly being Christa's size. Or at least in that general vicinity. Plus, for some reason, this week I'm feeling "old!" I mean, what's THAT all about? I don't mind my age at all! Except sometimes I think "do I look like a complete ass doing these dance moves? We did NOT move our hips like this when we danced back in 1989!" Then I thought, "I bet Demi Moore can do these damn dance steps and she's older than I am so, if she can do them, I'll freaking figure it out!" and I keep right on dancing. I just... *shudder*.... do not want to look like one of those adorable old men who dance at weddings with their grand daughter's best friends, gyrating their hips in that old man way. Do you know what I mean? Like this:



He's adorable. But he's 85!!!!!!!! I want to look hot, sexy... 45! Not 85! Yes, I know I'm whining... and *sigh* yes, I'm aware that instant gratification is just a fantasy, not at all realistic.

So this past Wednesday, I was at Zumba and plugging away. Now, I've noticed two things. First, no more mid-class pee breaks; in fact, no more mid-class breaks (other than the same quick water breaks that everyone takes). THAT, my friends, is progress! I've also noticed that I'm becoming more aware of the isolated movements my body is making. Know what I mean? When I do certain moves, I'm aware of my abs and I try to control the muscles while I do the moves.

Okay, not always... but sometimes!

which is a major improvement from last week when it was all about "omg, what can I do to make myself look busy so I won't have to do this song? drink some water? walk around in a circle in the back of the room looking like I'm concentrating and checking my heart rate? take another pee break?" It's a slow process but I'm getting there!

I also noticed that I'm seeing a big difference in my approach to my mental stuff in class. The first two weeks, I really didn't care a whole lot about how much energy I was exerting during each dance. Simply getting THROUGH the dance was enough to kill me (I thought). This week, however, I was aware of actually getting mad that I let myself get out of shape so badly that I can barely make it through this class. And I noticed my determination. I mean, I can say I'm determined and mean it - heck, I've written it right here in this blog enough over the past couple of weeks - but to feel it is something else entirely. And on Wednesday, I felt it. Not the exciting, Rocky-"Gonna-Fly-Now" determination but an "I will not let my past become my future" kind of anger.

And I noticed my limitations. No more delusions. Yes, I used to be able to do all sorts of things. I had energy to spare and I was always at the front of the pack. But right now my body has limits. I hate them but I'm through denying that they exist. You know what? I think it's good to finally be cognitively aware of them and open with you about them. No kidding myself or anyone else. I've got some work to do to get in shape again. And I'm over 40. It's not going to be easy. But I am absolutely determined to succeed. Now, who's in with me??


Love and Determination,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 45 - Skinny Jeans and Soul Food Brunch

Hello, hello!

So Saturday morning was, once again, Zumba day at Dance Spa South. I'd like to say, "Saturday morning was Zumba day as usual," but let's be realistic - I haven't even done this for two weeks straight yet and, since they say it takes 30 days to form a habit, I think I have about 2.5 more weeks to go before I can officially declare "I went to Zumba as usual!" But, semantics aside, I went to Zumba after my usual morning wake up routine that goes like this:

7:45: *alarm clock rings*
Me: #$%&*!! ...need. coffee.

The next hour is pretty much me arguing with myself like this:

Me: Whyyyyyyy?
Me2: We'll be fine!
Me: But whyyyyyyy?
Me2: Because this is good for us.
Me: I juh-huhst wah-hahnt to sleeh-heep ih-hih-hih-hih-innnn!
Me2: Get up, take the dog for her walk, make some coffee, post to everyone that you're going to Zumba. And. Then. GO. (sometimes I have to be a little stern with myself)

So I got up, took the dog for her walk, made some coffee and while I was sipping it, I posted on Facebook that I was heading out to my Zumba class. Ever the faithful friend/support person, I got my Saturday morning text from Joe as I was on the bus:

Joe: I'm on the train almost there. Let's do this!!!!
Me: *swear words* how are you so *swear word* perky in the mornings????????
Joe: I'm an internally perky person.

That's pretty much how it always goes. So, like I said, I made it to Zumba - on time, even - and another milestone was achieved: I got through the whole class without needing any pee breaks! YEAH! (this is important stuff, people) I am, however, still looking at the clock every five minutes going "what?? I still have 40/35/30/25/etc. minutes of this to go???" but Rome was not built in a day and, given the fact that, during my first class, I went, "what?? I still have 57/55/53/51/49/47/etc. minutes of this to go???" I see my current class-clock-watching as a major improvement already. And I believe I *will* reach that day when I jump out of bed to say "woohoo! Saturday morning! Zumba, let's GO!" (Even if you know me well enough to know that I will never jump out of bed happily on my day off from work to do anything (except maybe shuffle to the kitchen for coffee), shhh, let me have my fantasy, please and thank you!)

After that, I kind of lounged around. I don't know about the rest of you, wherever you are, but it is ridiculously hot and humid here in Chicago right now and it's difficult to get the motivation to go anywhere or do much... so bleah.

On Sunday, I was faced with yet another food challenge - SOUL FOOD *dun-dun-DUN* I've been getting firmer in some very good places so I decided to try on a pair of jeans in my closet that are one size smaller than what I usually wear. They don't quite fit yet. Well, they do kind of. But they look like skinny jeans (they're not supposed to) and, hello, does the word "muffin top" mean anything to you? Muffin tops belong in bakeries, not on my waistline. And I was a little worried about what could happen to the button on these jeans if I wore them to the soul food restaurant. I mean, seriously, how does one even LOOK at soul food without gaining 10 lbs.?? Well here's the thing about this: I've seen plenty of skinny people eating soul food so I decided to go straight to the source, Velvet Daniels, mama to DYAO Season 2 Contestant, LaToya James. Velvet knows soul food and she's about the size of a toothpick (with hips and boobs) so I just asked her what to do and here's what she told me:

"When out remove the skin from the fried chicken. Eat white meat not dark meat. Greens cooked with turkey not pork. Stay away from the Mac and cheese and if your like me and can't do that eat just enough to satify ... See Morethat taste bud. You know what? Just eat very small amount of everything that looks good to you. i would take a half table spoon and sample everything I like but I load up on my greens and cabbage. Cabbage is a great fat burner."

So that's exactly what I did. While wearing my old, baggy jeans. And it was delicious! I had a taste of mustard fried catfish (literally, two bites from my dining companion's entree), turkey tips (my entree), green beans cooked with ham and some red beans & rice. I skipped the sweet potato pie, the mac & cheese and the cornbread stuffing so I am really, really proud of myself! Dessert came with the meal and, since nearly everything was bready, doughy and loaded with fats, I ordered the key lime pie. But you know what? I was so busy talking and listening to everyone that I forgot to eat it so I had the server pack it up to go.

Since I knew I was going to be eating a big meal at the soul food restaurant, I decided to keep dinner to a fresh salad. Lettuce, tomato, onion, a lot of salsa and a tiny bit of cheese... oh, and i did eat the slice of key lime pie. I *think* that's okay but I'm not quite sure. How am I doing?? I think I might be ready for that pair of jeans in my closet soon if I keep this up!!

One negative to report for the weekend: I really needed to go walking last night. It's part of the routine I'm trying to establish but, dang it, it is SO hot outside I just.. meh. Didn't have the energy. So I sat in the air conditioning and read instead.

I'm thinking about adding a third Zumba class and a strength training class to my week. Oooh! That reminds me! Before I forget - if any of you are reading and you happen to live in Chicago, Dance Spa South (in Bucktown) is running a special, beginning August 1, 2010!! For just $249 (payable in three equal installments of $83 per month), you get to have *gasp* UNLIMITED Zumba dance classes, Bollywood dance classes with Ajanta Chakraborty, and strength training classes - how unbelievably cool is THAT??? Joe and I are so all over that offer. You have no idea. There might even be some sort of contest involved - if that materializes into something specific, I'll be sure to let you know! Plus, don't forget: Join Christa South on Tuesday nights at 7pm from July 20th-August 24. In just 6 weeks you will learn the basics of Ballroom dancing and be ready to set the dance floor on fire! No Partner needed!! $72 per person or $135 when two people sign up together.


Also, speaking of ballroom dancing, don't forget: tonight is STRICTLY BALLROOM ON DYAO!!! If you'd like to join the live chats, tonight you can visit with Erica on the east coast or Katie on the west coast - see you there!

One more thing before I end this post: If you're reading my blog - periodically, regularly, for the first time, whatever - will you please do me a favour and leave me a note in the comment section of this post? It's difficult to know how to direct my posts if I don't know who I'm talking to and get a little feedback. Also, if you like reading what I wrote, I hope you'll consider becoming a follower of my blog - if you have a blog of your own, let's link up! It's easy, free and (most important), it won't cause you to receive spam mail!


Love, laughter and healthy soul food ~winks~


Kelley

Post 44 - One Week Down... However Many It Takes To Go!

Wow, it's been one, full week since I've really committed myself to a change in lifestyle that includes consciously making healthy food choices and working out regularly, including two power-Zumba classes at Dance Spa with owner/instructor/official butt kicking power dancer and motivator, Christa South! Joe and I are so proud of ourselves - we're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it!!!! Once again, I owe big, big thank yous to Joe for motivating me - I'm honestly not quite sure where my motivation would be this early in the game if it weren't for his text messages pushing me along! I literally ran out the door from work at 5:40pm, caught the bus, got home at 6:25, hustled the dog out for a 30 second potty break (poor thing), ran her back inside, told her I'd be home after class and then ran back out the door. I got on the bus at 6:40 and had 20 minutes to get to class (impossible). I did make it there by 7:10 and I think that's okay because I actually had to speed-walk almost a mile to get to class so no worries! Can't you just imagine me hustling on down the sidewalk thinking with each step, "crap, crap, crap, I'm late!" as I go? I wish I could get there earlier but there's just no way without paying $15 for a cab and... I just can't justify that. I *will* however, be right on time for Saturday's class!

Anyway, Zumba! Tonight marked a special milestone for me - this is the first class I've attended in which I actually made it through the whole class without any breaks (minus a very quick power pee break - but the bathroom's *makes hand gesture to the left of her body* right over there, just off the dance floor, so it's no biggie). Also, I'm starting to get to know some of the moves so I don't feel quite as ridiculous as I did at first. That's a VERY good thing. And at the end (this is my favourite part) - we do this cool down routine that involves punching into the air over and over again. This probably isn't the most lady-like confession I'll ever make but here's what I do: Every time I punch, I think of someone who told me I'm a bad person, a failure, or that I wouldn't ever be anything on my own. Take THAT, exhusband! Take THAT, jerk-ex who stole $20,000 from me and left the country! Take THAT, person who told me that fat people look like beached crustacians! Take THAT everyone who I've ever let make me feel bad about myself! Pow! Pow! Pow! I love that part!! It makes me feel incredibly empowered - is that bad? I hope not... because it really gives me motivation to excel! At the end of class, we're all little more than walking balls of noodly legs and sweat (gross, I know. Sorry about that but it's true) but we all feel GREAT and we know we just had an amazing work out!

What about food choices? This week has presented an interesting challenge for me. I eat my meals at my clients' houses. That's just the arrangement - how it's always been. Until this week, that's been totally fine. My clients choose really healthy, organic foods - heavy on the fruits and veggies so I thought "no problem!" about the diet. Well. Wouldn't you know it? This week, they didn't buy any fresh vegetables at all and only a couple of fruits. Instead, they bought all kinds of bread. And we're not talking 12-grain stuff. They bought raisin bread, blueberry bread, wheat bread (not the good kind) and tortillas. Oh, and hot dog buns. And cheeses (three kinds). And crackers. Again, three kinds. And they bought something they have never, ever, EVER had in their house (except at Christmas) since I've been working with them: cookies. WHAT??? I could hear them calling me so we had to have a little chat, cookies and I. It went like this:

Cookies: Keellleeyyy.....
Me: *ignoring the cookies*
Cookies: Keeeeellllleeeeyyyyy.....!
Me: *ignoring the cookies*
Cookies: KEEEELLLLEEEEYYYYYY!!!
Me: "Cookies! LOOK. I am TRYING to lose weight. You are NOT part of the process, now please! Leave me alone!"
Cookies: Oh, come on, Kelley! We're old friends! We mean no harm - just one bite for old time's sake!
Me: No!
Cookies: Come on.... you know you wanna!
Me: NO!
Cookies: But we're so creamy... and you haven't had one of us in a while. Come on...!
Me: *sigh* Fine. FINE! But only one!

...and I ate one - I don't think I even tasted it; just threw it down the hatch because it was an old habit. Then I reached for another one. But before I ate it, I twisted it in half (it was a vanilla sandwich cookie) and gave the non-creamy half to Stella. This time, I stopped and tasted the cookie. And I thought, "meh. really wasn't that great. and sure not worth blowing my progress over!" and I put the rest away. Ta-da!! YAY, ME!

I have so much more that I want to say but, to be honest, I am thoroughly exhausted - I'll add more about food choices on Thursday's blog!

This has been a week of much progress - I've made some amazing new friends *waves at Michael, Kiki and Corey* and I know with their encouragement, with Joe's faithful friendship, with the support of my wonderful boyfriend, Marc, and my own determination, I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL. END. OF. STORY!

Now get up and dance with me - if I can do this, you can too!!!

Love and booty-shaking Zumba moves,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 43 - Monday Night, Hooray!

You know, since tonight is my "night off" from exercise (technically - I'll go for a big walk anyway), I'm going to dedicate this post to something about my weight loss/healthy lifestyle adventure that isn't about Zumba, for a change! This blog is going to be about making smart choices.

I went grocery shopping last night and was absolutely amazed by how my shopping list has changed in just one week! I used to fill up my cart with processed convenience foods - I work long hours and couldn't see myself cooking big meals for one, especially in this humid weather! So I simply bought loads of junk that was convenient. Pastas, white rice, more pasta, Hot Pockets (well, okay, Lean Pockets but really how lean are they when you eat two of them??), chips, more pasta... you get the idea. After watching last week's episode of Dance Your A** Off, however, I got an idea and decided that, while it's too hot to cook, it's certainly not too hot to eat fresh veggies and fruits! That's right - I decided it was time to re-introduce myself to produce. By itself. No more thinly-veiled "how do you do, apple? let's see how you look wrapped in this lovely caramel sauce," for me! I actually ate a plain apple. And it was GOOD. Next up? Fresh broccoli. Oh. Em. Gee. I'd forgotten how flavorful fresh broccoli is! It's really, really good. Eat a bunch of green grapes? Sure! Snack on baby carrots? Don't mind if I do! Fresh fruits and vegetables taste delicious all by themselves - how had I forgotten this?!

But then! dun-dun-DUN... I was invited to a brunch buffet on Saturday following my Zumba class.

Hmmm.
A brunch.
buffet.

And someone else was paying.

How could I possibly say no? But what to do? What to do?? Brunch buffets are loaded with carby badness that just calls my name when I get within earshot! Then I remembered what my Season 2 DYAO buddy, Michael Brooks (click on his name to see his webpage), told me. "It's mind or matter, Kelley. You've got to convince yourself that you can do it." And that was that.

I did go to the brunch buffet. Guess what - I made right choices! I loaded my plate so that it was nearly overflowing! With fresh peas, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and carrots. With delicious watermelon, blueberries, honeydew and cantaloupe. I did try a taste of the cream cheese with chocolate chips thingie but you know what? A taste was all I needed! And then I went right back to my grapes. I went back for a second plate and this time tried some eggs. Normally, I'd have gone for the denver omelet and topped it with cheese. This time, I chose egg whites that had diced tomatoes, onions and mushrooms mixed in. And you know what? It tasted just as good - no lie! This might sound a little goofy but I was really worried about seeing all kinds of empty on my plate just begging to be loaded with bacon, sausage and waffles so instead of walking away, I went over to the veggies section again and added more mushrooms. I did take two flax seed crackers but I don't think that's any big deal.

So guess what happened after that? I was FULL. But not that "oh my God, I need to undo my pants and go into a food coma right this MINUTE" kind of full. Just a pleasant, "wow, I ate a lot of good stuff that's good for me," full. And that's really the only big meal I ate on Saturday. I went for a walk, rested, read... sat bolt upright in the afternoon and thought, "Oh no! I'm going to blow off my workout if I don't get outside right this minute!!" then immediately chuckled and remembered, "Oh wait. never mind... I already had my workout this morning!" I was so proud of myself. Michael is right and I'm going to keep telling myself every, single day: it's MIND over MATTER and I can do it!

T0night after work, I'm going to get Jillian and take her for a long walk to the doggie beach. After that, we're coming home to eat. She gets some gourmet dog food stuff I got from PetCo (I can't ever remember the name... Avondale something?) and I get a delicious chef salad sprinkled with freshly ground flax seeds and topped with a seasoned chicken breast. After that, I'm going to take my shower, get into my jammies, then watch the new episode of DYAO Season 2 while chatting with Michael (he's hosting Oxygen's west coast chat tonight, if you'd like to say hello)!

One last thing - to the many, many of you who are reading my blog, even if you're not a "follower" yet (click the right side of this screen to follow me, by the way); to all of you who've taken time to email, to send me private messages here and elsewhere and to those of you who've been kind enough to comment here on my blog, thank you! You inspire me to keep pushing forward - I'm so grateful for you!!!


Love and laughter and lots of fresh produce ;-)


Kelley

Post 42 - Saturday Stuff

Well I did it! I went to my second Zumba class this morning. And I am veeeery proud of myself. Why, you ask? Because I did NOT want to go. I mean, it was bad:

7:45am - *alarm ring*
Me: $#%&@!!!
7:50 - I sigh and get out of bed
7:51 - I go to the bathroom and realize that Mother Nature has brought her monthly *gift* oh joy. I decide not to go to Zumba.
7:52 - I decide I have to go to Zumba.
7:53 - I decide one day off won't matter.
7:54 - I know I'm lying to myself if I really think that one day off won't matter.
7:55 - I nearly convince myself that it really IS just one day. And it won't matter.

(this goes on until I actually walk out the door at 8:50)

9:00 - I'm waiting for the bus and I think, "I really don't feel great; I have cramps. I need to lie down. I should just go back home."
9:05 - I'm on the bus. "I can just get off at the next stop and grab a bus going the other way"
9:07 - I receive a text from Joe: "Hey where u at I'm on The train heading there now"
9:12 - Me inside my head: "crap! now I HAVE to go!" Me to Joe: I'm on the bus - might be a couple of minutes late but I'm on my way :) "

...and so I went. And, while I was a couple of minutes late, I did it. I did it, I did it, I did it! Mind over matter (and a little convincing from my friends), baby, I DID it! Three things - no, four! - made it happen.

1. My new friend, Michael Brooks' words: "it's mind over matter, Kelley. Convince yourself you can do it!"
2. Joe's text... perfectly timed, as always - thank you, sweetie!
3. Lisa Ann Walters' willingness to showcase my efforts and her sweet, sweet comment on Post 40!
4. Christa, my wonderful, perky Zumba teacher... how could I possibly let her down and not show up? No way. Can't do it!

Thanks guys!! We're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it!!


Love, laughter and success to you all,

Kelley
xoxo


p.s. If you're in the Chicago area, Dance Spa (click here to see their website) will be hosting a lose weight/get fit contest! The details aren't out quite yet but the grand prize is a free year of Zumba classes. A. Free. Year. Joe tells me he understands my pre-contest jealousy at his future win. I tell him to get to the back of the line because that prize is MINE! All kidding aside, we're excited about the contest and we hope you'll join us! I'll post more info as the plan unfolds...

Post 41 - ZUMBA!

Okay, now that Joe and I have definitely signed our names on the dotted line (so to speak), our first, specific action plan was to sign up for a dance/exercise class. Enter Christa South, owner of Dance Spa South in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood. How to describe our experience? Well, why don't I just walk you through our first day?

After discussing available class times, Joe and I agreed that the 7pm class on Wednesday was the best time for both of us. When we arrived at the studio, we were greeted by this peppy, little ball of pure energy and smiles named Christa. After explaining the basic premise of the class and telling us a little general information about her studio, Christa brought us over to meet the rest of the class. Joe and I were so pleased to see that the other students came in all shapes and sizes (we have to admit, we were a tiny bit self conscious at first about being on the bigger side). Everyone was so warm and friendly and we immediately felt at ease.

Suddenly it was time to get started! Eager to be the "good student," I ran right up to the front of the room. Joe (who, in retrospect, I think made the smarter move) lined up toward the back of the group. Christa explained that she would not talk through the class but would indicate a change of motions by either pointing, turning her head or making an exaggerated gesture so we knew something new would be coming. She also told us not to worry if we didn't get the move right away - we should watch, follow and just keep moving. "Sounds doable!" I thought to myself... once the music began, we launched into a series of stretches and warm-up work that felt easy enough. The music was fun and made you want to get up and move... "so far, so good!" ran through my mind. When the second song started, we got moving. Big movements, wide steps, arms up high! After that song was over, here's a play-by-play of what went through my mind:

7:07 (second song ends) WOW! That was GREAT! What a workout! Woooooo! (then I look at the clock) What? I still have 53 minutes to go?? Crap.

7:15 Okay. I'm doing it. My GOD, it hurts, but I'm doing it!

7:16 I can't do it. I just can't!

7:17 I'm still doing it. This suuuuuuuuuuucks..... but I'm doing it!

At 7:30 I can feel my face is flushed and I start feeling a little light-headed so I take a five minute break. I think I peed a little (way tmi, I know, but ladies, I know I'm not the only one!)... then again, hell, for all I know, I'm just sweating in places that aren't supposed to be sweating! So I go into the bathroom, make sure the bladder's empty (no more of those worries, please and thank you), splash some water on my beet red face and walk around a little to keep my heart pumping without feeling like I'm going to faint.

7:35 Back in I go. Woooo! (I'm not feeling "woooo" but I force my brain to tell my body that's what we're feeling anyway.)

7:45 15 minutes to go - I'm going to make it! Oh dear Lord, I'm going to make it!

At 7:50, Christa shouts happily "Come on, everyone! In a great big circle!" and the group starts doing some running this way/dancing that way/waving arms and jumping thing.

7:51 Okay, this looks like it should be really fun. I'm exhausted. My body doesn't want to do this. But I'm going to make myself do this and we're going to have fun doing this, even if my mind has to beat my body into submission! *gritting teeth in what I hope looks like a smile*

At 7:55, Christa brings us back to our original places and we begin to cool down. It feels wonderful to stretch my body and feel my heartbeat slowly come back down to its normal speed. I begin thinking about my goals. How I got to be overweight. How I'm determined not to make this my legacy. How I want to be proud of myself for this and how much I want to help others who are just like me succeed, too. And I begin to cry. It finally occurred to me: after years and years of saying "I'm going to do this; I'm going to get back in shape and I'm going to feel good about myself inside and out," I'm finally doing it. And it's an overwhelming sensation that's difficult to put into words. So I just cry quietly with a smile on my face (hoping, of course, that no one notices it's tears running down my face and not just sweat!).

After the class ended, Joe and I talked with Christa about our goals. What a wonderful person - she is so excited to be a part of our new beginning... and she made us even more excited than we already are.

Guys, I don't know who's reading this blog but I want you to know something important, okay? Everyone has challenges that hold them back but you know what? Life is so, so short and so, so precious. Don't waste another minute wishing you had the energy and determination to change on your own - you can do this. You can! If you're overweight like Joe and like me and like thousands of others, don't wait another day to make this change for yourself. Just get up and move. Find a class, go for a walk, take a bike ride. But get up and move. I'm doing it. Joe's doing it. The contestants on Dance Your Ass Off are doing it. I learned that even Mel B. did it! We're all just regular, everyday people who have decided we are finished with our old habits and we're determined to become the very best we can be. You can do it too. And I'm going to be right here cheering you on!

Much love and laughter,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 40 - Dancing My Ass Off (how it all began)

You may or may not know (if you've read my whole blog, you do know!) that, when I came to Chicago, it was, in large part, for a much-needed do-over in life and that, when I got here, things weren't quite as easy as I thought they'd be. Luckily, I'm a fighter with a positive attitude and, though there were days (days?? Try weeks!) When I wanted to just curl into the fetal position and give up, I refused to quit!

Part of that refusal to quit involves weight loss and healthier living. I was very thin throughout most of my teens and twenties. Until I met my (now ex) husband, Randy. Due to his own insecurities about my friendly personality, he convinced me that it would be better for me to be heavy and so I gained weight. More than 100 lbs. to be more specific. I could kick myself for believing that could ever be a positive thing but what's done is done and I decided it was time to move forward.

Enter the Dance Your Ass Off reality competition. I first saw this show on Oxygen as I was flipping channels to find something else but, the minute I saw these people - big people like me - dancing with all they've got, I was mesmerized! The premise of the show is kind of a combination of The Biggest Loser and So You Think You Can Dance. You get the idea, right? I watched DYAO diligently to the very end and cheered with everyone when Reuben won. But I realized I wasn't only cheering for Reuben. I was also cheering for every one of those contestants who was willing to appear on national television revealing their struggles and their triumphs as they made this life-changing journey. I mean, seriously. If standing on national television wearing midriff baring spandex when you weigh more than 200 lbs. Isn't an exercise in bravery, I don't know what is!

A few months later, I heard auditions would be held in Chicago for DYAO and I decided to attend. I made it past the first couple of rounds (yay me!) But then we had to learn a dance routine that involved the "pop & lock." Um. Excuse me? Okay, full disclosure here: I'm from the farmlands and I'm over 40. They still do the Boot Scootin' Boogie where I'm from (not kidding). My thought as everyone around me was jumping up and down cheering about getting to pop & lock was, "oh sh**. What the f*** is pop & lock and how in the world am I going to teach my body to move like that in 30 minutes or less?" I psyched myself out and that was the end of the DYAO audition line for me.

But then something happened. Lisa Ann Walter (executive producer/creator/judge of the show) said, "I wish I could bring you all with me; please don't give up - come back next year, okay?" and, bless her heart, I knew she meant every word. Here's the thing. I didn't want to get on the show to win the prize or to be on television. I wanted to get on the show because I am PASSIONATE about making this change in my own life and because I want to inspire others to make their own changes right along with me. As Lisa Ann said "come back next year," it hit me: I don't want to wait another day to make these changes and I don't have to be on a popular television show to motivate others to join me! So I started walking. I started watching my food intake, making a few, healthy substitutions at a time. And. I'm. DOING IT!

Fairly soon after the auditions, I joined the DYAO Facebook family - what an amazing, inspiring group of people! The active members include the judges, the professional dancers, contestants (past and present) and the fans and it is an ACTIVE group, let me tell you! One of the best things was meeting my new friend, Joe Castillon. Joe also auditioned for the show and didn't make it. And, like me, Joe said, "I'm not waiting to make these changes in my life!" Since January, Joe has lost more than 50 lbs. and I have lost 30lbs. We also joined a Zumba class last night. We are DETERMINED to succeed. This is my story of OUR journey as we dance our asses off in Chicago - we sincerely hope you'll join us as we share our experience!