Post 54 - Lady, You've Got Some Explaining To Do

...and I do have an explanation!

Okay, first, where have I been, right? I'm here, I'm here! And I'm still working out diligently, although, due to scheduling conflicts, Zumba has had to be put on the back burner for a while. I still check in with Christa and the amazing folks at Dance Spa every few weeks... I miss those guys like crazy and, if you want to get up, get out and FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF, then GO; you won't regret it! Since my schedule is wacky and looooong, I've committed myself to walking five miles or more every, single day. So far, I've lost almost 40 lbs!!

Next (and this is big stuff), I have become committed to the "forgotten people." Who are these so-called forgotten people I'm talking about? They're the men, women and youth living on the streets of Chicago. Guys, there are people all over this world who are homeless with no place to go (not by choice). I'm not on some mission to make myself look good to others and I know better than to have some crazy delusions about saving the world with unicorns and butterflies, but I do feel an intense burden on my heart to do whatever I can to help as many of these people as I can get through just one more day, one day at a time. And then another day. And then another. One day at a time.

So what does that mean exactly? Well, there are many amazing organizations, groups, ministries, etc. out there doing everything they can. But even so, there there are literally thousands and thousands of people who fall through the cracks. These people are usually the quiet ones sitting in corners trying not to draw attention to themselves because they don't want the police to arrest them for loitering or for looking suspicious. These people couldn't care less about the newest fashion trends or what china to use at the holiday dinner table. They are overwhelmingly grateful for dry socks or gloves to help their skin keep from cracking open and bleeding. They don't even care whether or not the items are new. They just hope for something dry and, if it's not too much trouble, without too many holes.

I go out at least once a week and walk around the city with my big, bright pink bag filled to the top with clothes I buy from thrift stores: jackets, scarves, socks, hoodies... whatever I can afford and whatever I can carry. I bring a second bag that I fill with single packets of instant coffee (a luxury if they can find hot water), almonds, granola, fresh fruit, instant noodle meals and my homemade cornbread pancakes. My second bag is insulated so that everything stays warm. Warm cornbread with honey - pure bliss.

Even though I bring as many tangible items as I can when I make my rounds, wanna know what I'm thanked for the most often? My time. I sit a while and chat with these people. No barriers, no "invisible wall" or anything. I just sit down with them as equals and spend time with them. And I learn humility, grace, and joy. I've been thanked for treating them as humans -as if that deserves thanks! Shouldn't everyone be treated that way regardless of what they have or where they live?? Who are any of us to assume that we're somehow better than these people simply because we have roofs over our heads and running water?? Last week, I met a woman named Sheena who'd been kicked out of her senior apartment. A homeless man named Miller came to Chicago to care for his sick mother. When she passed away, there was no money left for him to get home. He's been on the street for two months. When we met, he hadn't eaten in three days. I met people from other countries who'd sold everything they owned, bought airline tickets and moved here hoping for new lives. I met a man named Jim who's trying to get home to see his daughter. I met a business man who lost everything. The point is, these people matter. Every single one of them is a real, live, thinking, dreaming, hurting person. They're not lazy pieces of trash to awkwardly avoid or look at with contempt while we're scurrying around to get the latest deals at Macy's. The next time you're out shopping on State Street (or Michigan Avenue or anywhere else), I challenge you to look a homeless person in the eye and say hello.

I've been keeping a journal of my experience. Just me, my bright, pink bag, and my camera for documenting everything.

And now I'm going to make a request that I've never made before. See that gold Paypal button to the right that says "donate?" Please, please, please make a donation. It doesn't have to be much. $8 buys a thrift store coat. $6 buys a sixpack of socks. Heck, even $1 or $2 pays for a pair of sweatpants to layer under jeans or a pair of knit gloves! Any little bit goes a long, long way.

Be good to each other, okay? Just like these wonderful people I've met on the streets, you all matter.

Love you bunches,

Kelley

Post 53 - It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.

My mother and I. Phew, there's an epic novel in those four words! We've had ups and we've had downs - what do you expect when you have two, brilliant, head-strong women - one highly assertive (my mother) and one outwardly passive but inwardly assertive (me) - in one, small family?

You know, there's been lots of big drama in my extended family (really, who can't say the very same, right? I propose an amendment to thesauruses everywhere. Families = drama). So much so that several years ago, I made the painful choice to love my family from a very big physical and emotional distance. And I pointed a great, big finger of blame at others. I think, as time goes by, I'm maturing and I'm finally, finally beginning to see my family through the eyes of a wise woman instead of those of a scared kid. I wish I'd matured on this a little sooner but I guess things happen when they're supposed to happen and not a minute sooner.

I heard from my mom last Friday. It was in response to blog post 51. All she said was this:

"I always knew you were a phenomenal girl/woman. Just never knew how to convey that to you : ( "

and in that instant, I realized how bewildered my mother, at only 18, must have been trying to raise me. With an IQ of 165, I was much more than just a handful. That woman had to coax me from the roof of a 2-story building when I was 15 months old (I'd somehow managed to climb up to and out of the open skylight above me when I was supposed to have been napping). She had to entertain me after I'd taught myself to read with books and a Scrabble board at age 3. And I don't know how she ever got any sleep - I certainly never slept more than three hours at a stretch (a life long habit that's still with me). I was an accomplished flautist by age 15 and then, a few short years later, a teen parent. And that's barely even giving a passing nod to the tip of the iceberg - as someone recently observed, my life has been quite the after school special. My God, how that woman didn't end up in a psych ward is beyond me.

Anyway.

My point is this. I finally understand that she was just a human doing the best she could to raise a very energetic baby who grew into an incredibly precocious little girl who then grew into a scared-to-death teenager who thought everyone was "only being nice - they don't really mean it" when they fawned over her talents... who then became an unbelievably insecure young woman who blamed all of the world's injustices on everyone around her while she jumped from one emotionally abusive relationship to another...

...who is now the (slightly wiser) woman before you, finally seeing the world and the people in her life with open eyes and an open heart. I've got a lot more growing to do but I can finally say with confidence that I have come a long way. And I love my mom, flaws and all. Just as I know she loves me in spite of mine.

Post 52 - Rough day but muddling along

It's Saturday and, even though I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry this morning while hiding from the world, I got up and went to Zumba. And yes, as usual, I'm glad I went. For one hour, I fill my mind with music and movement and, for that one hour, everything else just sort of disappears. Would you believe today was actually the day that I *didn't* look at the clock more than I *did?* True story. I also stuck around for the ab lab class afterward. My abs felt like they were on fire. At one point, I thought, "I don't want to do this - I can't do it!!!" but then another voice in my head said, "FIGHT IT - DON'T GIVE UP" so I did. I got angry and (inwardly) a little tearful and I kept going.

This is one of my favourite songs we dance to - it's called Galactic Blues by Don Omar and it is HOT! Hope you like it, too :)




I did title this post "rough day but muddling along" for a reason. The fact is, I'm having another difficult day. I miss Marc more and more with each passing day. Not knowing whether or not he's alright is so scary. I finally pulled out the big guns and contacted someone for help today. If everything's okay, Marc will probably be pretty unhappy but I think he'll understand as well. I try really hard to be low-key about his depression but when he's gone this long without contacting me, I have to do whatever it takes to make sure he's safe. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd much rather have him be alive and angry with me than the alternative, you know?

Well let's see. I've exercised, tidied my tiny little apartment and taken the dog for a walk. I really don't want to go to the German festival but maybe, after a nap and a shower, I'll go head out for a little live band karaoke. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just stay in tonight and watch a couple of movies.

Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you're having an amazing weekend.

Love to you all,

Kelley

Post 51 - I'm going through one of those, "when life hands you lemons, screw the water and sugar; where's the freakin' vodka?" phases

*sigh*

Okay, so clearly, I've been away from my blogging promise for entirely too long. I've really been contemplating how to approach this overdue entry. I think I'm going to stray from my upbeat and fun norm and just lay it on the line. Here's what's going on:

My boyfriend - the guy I love more than life - is dealing with depression. Heavy duty depression. And since we're muddling through a long-distance relationship, there are unique challenges. When he goes into his dark stages, I call it "hiding in his dragon cave." These cave-dwelling phases can last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Some days, I feel like I'm in an ultimate endurance competition. Currently, he's been "in hiding" for seven weeks - this is a new record and I can't begin to describe the things that go through my mind: Has he changed his mind and just can't bring himself to tell me? (unlikely) Has he met someone new? (equally unlikely - he's an extremely straightforward guy) Is he in a coma somewhere? Or worse, has he decided to end it all and no one's discovered his body? Is he still caving? Did he not pay his internet bill and he no longer has internet access? If so, why the HELL hasn't he found a way to contact me? Add to that the complication that he's isolated himself from local family and friends (not uncommon for people suffering from depression). I have no one to contact to make sure he's safe. Talk about terrifying. I haven't heard from him since 25 July. Each day that passes by without word is like a tiny little death.

My only options are to wait it out or throw in the towel. Of course, I'll wait but you wouldn't believe how many people have said "move on." I just don't understand that. I need support - I need to feel like I have friends in my corner, you know? - and I do NOT need people to tell me to give up and walk away. Anyone who knows me ought to know by now that there is NO WAY I'll give up on someone I love. That's just not my nature. It never has been and it absolutely never will be. I love Marc more than life and I refuse to give up on him or on us. He needs to see a doctor. Depressed people do not tend to take the initiative in making that first, important move toward help. He is also gripped by the social stigma that is so prevalent in Germany about seeing a therapist. It's simply not done there. Unless one is willing to be branded as "loony" for life. Doing this all in a long distance relationship is exhausting. I am so ready for him to get here to the USA. Currently, I'm checking out a few support groups for partners of people who are dealing with depression. And I do have a few friends who have been in Marc's shoes - hearing their perspectives has been immensely helpful. So a shout-out of gratitude to Caroline, Pat, and Kathy for their help.... guys, I don't know what I'd do without your insight and support : )

Here's a link to help you understand what we're going through:
Suffering In Silence: When Your Spouse Is Depressed

And here's an excerpt from the above link that sums up how I feel:

"Marriage and commitment are for better or worse. Depression is definitely one of the “worse.” It can be trying to maintain one’s own optimism and joy in life when someone you love is under a constant cloud. But with good treatment, encouragement, and caring, most depressed people do recover. With good support, most spouses break through the silence and make it as well."

For better or for worse, I'm in. And that's not negotiable.

On a positive note, I'm still exercising and it's really starting to show. Work is thriving so Zumba's a little hit and miss due to conflicting schedules but, even on days when I can't get to class, I still make sure I get in at least five miles of walking. In fact, last Saturday, I actually walked almost 10 miles in one day! Sweet, huh?

I do still grouse about some of the "jumping" dances in Zumba. And yes, I still watch the clock, although, if you've been following along from the beginning days, you'll be happy to hear that, this past Wednesday, I actually went almost 15 minutes before sneaking a look at the clock (true story). And would you believe that when I finally did, Christa (Dance Spa Owner, Christa South) caught it and called me out on it???? *glare of indignation* Here's how it went down:

Me: (sneaking look at clock 10 minutes before class is over)
Christa: (shouting over the music) "I saw you look at the clock, Kelley!!!"
Me: (under breath: damn it; I thought I was in stealth mode) "Hahaha! You saw nothing!"
Christa: "Ha!"
Me: (sheepish grin) "Ugh, okay, okay! You caught me!"

And, of course, I'm glad I went. Christa practically had to drag my listless ass to class herself but I did feel better and less sad about missing my beloved "dragon cavedweller" after I'd jumped around and hyperventilated to latin music for an hour.

Also, work is going very well. I love my client families more and more each day, plus I'm networking like crazy. I've also taken on a side project that I am REALLY excited about: my friend, Caroline, happens to be the most amazing pastry chef I've ever met and she's starting her own business, Coo Coo Confections. She has this eye for detail that is absolutely unreal - click here to check out her hand painted butter cookies. Seriously - she creates designs for and hand paints her cookies but here's the crazy thing. You know how most bakeries that do custom cookies usually have really pretty cookies that taste... okay? Or pretty good? Or bleah-but-hey-they're-pretty? Caroline spent hoursandhoursandhoursandhours and then more hours perfecting her blend of cookie and frosting flavours so that her cookies actually taste even better than they look. And that's saying a LOT. Because her cookies look almost too pretty to eat. Look at these cookies she made for my friends and me "just because" last weekend:





Aren't they beautiful? Like I said, they taste even better than they look!! But here's the thing. She also does unbelievable, mouth-watering chocolate chip cookies. And brownies. And cakes. And and and... the list goes on. And yes, I *know* my blog is about losing weight, getting fit, and staying healthy. But I truly believe you can enjoy the decadent goodies (like Caroline's amazing cookies) in moderation. I had one cookie. Just one. And it was enough to send me to heaven for the day! (PS - I don't think Caroline has set up her online store yet but she ships orders nationwide. just sayin'. You can probably contact her via the link I provided; if that doesn't work, let me know....................................and you're welcome in advance because, believe me, you'll thank me when you try her goodies.)

Alright, I guess I've updated you enough for now. I hope you are well. I've missed you all. And thank you to those of you who've written or stopped me when you've seen me to ask why I haven't given an update. Now you know. Yes, I'm okay (mostly). Just a little blue because I miss my dragon man very, very much. He'll be back and, when he is, I'll be my usual self again, I promise. : )

My love to you all,

Kelley

Post 50 - And Another thing!

Hello, everyone!

I know, I know, "What's this? Two days of blogging in a row?" Sorry about that - I left out so much good information in that ridiculously long blog of mine last night and I didn't want to let another day go by without writing it down and sharing it with all of you. I'm sending out a special "hello" to all of my friends at Yelp for inspiring this blog post today!

I've - once again - received so many wonderfully encouraging words from SO many of you. And with those words of encouragement, I've also been asked many questions. Hopefully, this blog post will answer some of them.

To begin with, I want to share the following changes I've made to my daily living:

Exercise

1. Zumba - two or three times per week at Dance SPA, depending on my work schedule.
2. I walk home from work (three miles) on the days I don't go to Zumba.
3. Ab Lab twice per week.
4. Strengthening/toning every other day.

Food

• For the most part (there are a few exceptions), I try not to buy anything with ingredients I can't pronounce.
• I plan my snacks. I spend part of my day cooking for others. It's been too easy to just pop a taste of whatever I'm cooking into my mouth. New rule - if it isn't a calorie I can and will track accurately, I won't eat it.
• NO MORE BUYING POTATO CHIPS. I am addicted to them. ADDICTED, I tell you. When I eat potato chips, forget portion control. I literally zone out and then suddenly come back to reality with absolutely no clue how this empty potato chip bag got in my hands. The nutritionist I met with said this "zoning out" I described is VERY common, even among people who aren't overweight. Well, that's simply not acceptable. I'm through with this zoning out business! I won't eliminate them from my diet completely but I will keep my exposure to them at a minimum.
  
• When I eat at a restaurant, I do eat fries. I won't stop eating fries. Not completely anyway. So here's what I've started doing instead. As soon as my plate comes, I remove 1/2 to 2/3 of the fries and hide them so I don't even see them. This has a dual effect. First, I do tend to be "out of sight, out of mind" about them. However, even if I still find myself wanting them... they've been removed from the warm plate and hidden in a napkin somewhere. This makes them cool off faster and everyone knows cold french fries are just nasty.
• I've also cut my bread intake (which wasn't terribly huge to begin with) in half. No white bread (except the occasional restaurant burger bun if there are no other options).
  
• And one of the biggest changes I'm just now learning to make is that I'm increasing my water intake by, like, a million oz. Okay, not really a million but, after a lifetime of NEVER drinking water (I've hated it my whole life), I'm learning to be friends with H2O. No, drinking coffee doesn't count, darn it. Water is one of the most important gifts I can give my body and, I think, this must be especially true for those of us in the "over 40" crowd. So I'm on my third 12 oz glass of agua as I write. Cheers, everyone!

This week, I'm going to learn about the food pyramid. I mean, we all learned about it in grammar school but I'm 99.9999999% sure I've been doing it wrong most of my life. So I'm going to see where I went wrong and figure out some fun options for getting myself back on track. I also want to post some sort of exercise/calorie tracker and a food chart here on the blog. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do about that. On the one hand, I do want to post this information because I think it's important. On the other hand, I don't want this blog to start looking too cluttered. So if you have any cool widgets you can share with me, please let me know!

Last but not least, I forgot to mention yesterday that Joe and I have started recording our vlogs. Our approaches are going to be a bit different - like our personalities - and I think that's PERFECT! His, of course, is going to be artistic, fun, and focused on what his body looks like and moves like as he dances his way down to where he wants to be. Mine is more focused on the information I'll be providing. Imagine me actually talking to you and saying everything in my blogs instead of writing it all down. Yeah. Like that. Once we're ready to start posting our vlogs (not for another couple of months, I think), I'll share them with you -- I'm so excited about that!!!

That's it for now -- and don't forget to watch our friends Michael, Adamme, LaToya, Corey and Stephanie on Dance Your Ass Off tonight; it's Vegas night as the contestants travel to Sin City! Can't wait to see what transpires - I'll see you all at the Live Chat; tonight's hosts are LaToya for the east coast chat and Stephanie on the west coast!


Thank you all for keeping me accountable, my virtual friends and family!!

Kelley
xoxo

Post 49 - The Big Beginning

It's been a few days since I've given an update so this one's going to be a little long (sorry sorry!!).

Let's see, what's been up? LOTS of exercise! Lots of being aware of everything I'm eating and how I'm tracking it, one (sort of) "oops" meal and what I did about it.

I can hear you now. "Lots of exercise, Kelley? Details, please!" and here it comes. I went to Zumba last Tuesday as planned. I wanted to go to Zumba on Thursday, too, but my client family didn't get home until nearly 6:00pm. Class starts at 5:30. So I decided to take Jilly Bean for a two mile long walk when I got home instead. Not bad! I intended to go to Zumba on Friday but you know what? I decided I was going to sleep in for the first time in more than two weeks. And I'm glad I did. When I woke up on Friday, I felt SO rested! I relaxed, enjoyed a cup of coffee, and then took the dog for another long walk.

So Saturday came....

Now, if you've been reading my blog, you know how my Saturdays usually work. I wake up, swear at my alarm clock, lie in bed until Joe texts me and tells me to get my ass in gear and then (still swearing), I clean up and run out the door for Zumba. Well guess what! After sleeping in on Friday, this Saturday morning was a little different. Now, I'm not going to lie and say I bounced out of bed, excited to be up and out but here's what happened:

[7:05] My eyes open.
[7:05:30] After I focus a moment, I panick and wonder if I overslept
[7:05:45] I look at the clock - the alarm isn't set to go off for another 40 minutes
[7:05:55] Me: Well, #%&*!! I woke up before the alarm? %^#@! How about that?"

I got up by myself! No text from Joe. No Skype with Marc. I did it. Me! I got to the bus in plenty of time, got to class several minutes early and only looked at the clock every 7 minutes or so and, wonder of wonders, I even found myself getting excited about a couple of the songs (I never thought I'd see the day....). A certain somebody who shall remain nameless (but who usually sends me ingratiatingly perky text messages on Saturday mornings) went out drinking Friday night and missed class! The good news in this is that I learned something that's kind of a big deal: I can actually motivate myself to get up and go to class! *squeeee* Anyhoo! I went to Zumba, made it through the whole class and afterward, did an Ab Lab with Christa. Huzzah!

When I got home, I had to run a couple of errands (hang on, this is relevant). While I was out, I decided I was really in the mood to eat at a sit down restaurant so I stopped in at a cute little deli and ordered a grilled and blackened chicken breast sandwich (hold the cheese, please and thank you). It came with french fries and coleslaw. Can I just say this? I was SO proud of myself! I requested to not have cheese on my sammich and I sectioned out 1/3 of the fries to eat. Coleslaw was no problem. I just didn't touch it.

That sandwich was DELICIOUS! Afterward, I decided, rather than take the bus, I was going to walk. So I did. Two miles!!! Zumba, Ab Lab and a two mile walk all in one day? YES!

Today was Dance SPA's weight loss challenge kick-off!! This was another monumental day for me because I did something I haven't done in more than 16 years - I finally weighed myself. I'm not quite ready to share how much I weigh but suffice it to say that I now know exactly what my starting point is and exactly what I need to do to reach my goal. Never fear - I *will* share my starting weight with you but owning up to my actual weight was an emotional, personal thing for me and I just want to absorb it for a little while before I go public with my current size. You know, I can't say it enough. Knowing where I'm at, knowing where I'm going and knowing what I have to do to get there is a hugely emotional experience. And by saying it was a hugely emotional experience, feel free to imagine that I cried again. Because I did. Ugh, I hate that! Except they weren't tears of sadness or shame. There is just this sense of... I don't know how to explain it. Just an overwhelming feeling of "Oh my God. I'm finally really, really making these changes in my life!"

I also learned something interesting - I have low water weight for my size. That's not a good thing. I am on my way and doing much better about my water intake but I'm still at least 5% under where I should be. So guess what I've been doing all day. Drinking water, water and more water! I've had two litres so far and I'm drinking a third litre as I write. I hope that helps put me on the right track with this water business.

Today, we also had another Zumba class. I couldn't quite make it through the whole class without taking a mini-break but, all in all, I was really proud of myself. Would you believe I actually only looked at the clock four times??? It's a new record for me and yes I am patting myself on the back for it. So yeah! I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!

After the kick-off party and class today, Joe, our fellow classmate, Katie, and I went to lunch at Belly Shack, a super-cool little minimalist place with an awesome, industrial theme. I selected lemongrass chicken. When it arrived, there were two slices of accompanying bread (it's supposed to be a sandwich but I left it deconstructed and only ate one piece). The food was delicious, flavourful and filling without being "oof." See?



And then we blew it. Well, sort of.

We decided we couldn't stand it - we had to have ice cream from Margie's and we had to have it right then and there. On that note, off we went. Now, you have to understand: there IS no simple single scoop of plain ice cream at Margie's so, keeping that in mind, I opted for something relatively low-key. I chose two scoops of vanilla and praline. It comes with a too-good-to-say-no-to wafer and a saucer of chocolate sauce. Oh, and whipped cream and the requisite cherry. So how did I do? Not toooooooooooooo bad, I think! I did eat the a scoop of my ice cream and the wafer (I couldn't help it. I just... couldn't help it). Oh, and the whipped cream and requisite cherry. However! I passed on the chocolate sauce and I left one scoop of ice cream in the bowl. Yay me - I AM doing it!

By the time we were done, I was feeling "oooooooooof," so I decided to walk home. Three miles. And I did it!!! After plugging my information into a calculator, I discovered that I burned another 400 calories by walking home so, hmpf! Yep, I'm doing it!

And now? I am finished for the weekend, ha! I'm exhausted, my leg muscles are killing me.... and I feel GOOD. I think, now that I know I can do it without killing myself, I'm going to start walking home from work every day. 400 calories! Woooo! Oh! One more thing before I end this entry; don't forget: tomorrow night is DYAO night. I can't wait to watch my friends dance their asses off another week - it's Vegas week, baby!!!


Love and exercises,

Kelley
xoxo

Post 48 - A Buncha Stuff!

Hello, hello!

I have so much to tell you but, to be honest, my arms are killing me (more on that in a minute) so I'm not sure how much writing I'll do tonight.

First things first: was DYAO a nail-biter last night or WHAT? Drama, drama, drama! Was the moon in retrograde or something? Even Joe texted me something during the show that made me make the "oh no he di-in't!" face! One of the most amazing things the contestants had to do this week was run around a high school track wearing odd looking silver vests. After they finished their run, they were told that the vests were weighted with the equivalent of all the weight they've lost over the past six weeks. Talk about an emotional moment when they took off those vests; how symbolic, you know? To be able to remove such a burden and to know that they don't ever, ever have to live like that any longer. I was in tears thinking about how proud I am of each and everyone of them and about how I'm doing the same thing in my own journey. Anyhoo! *wipes eyes*

The dance contest was so fun to watch! LaToya and Adamme can DANCE... their skills are fierce. Corey and Stephanie might not have the experience that the other two do but they are just so stinking adorable and expressive with their moves to say nothing of the dance stories their faces tell... they're simply FUN to watch and I giggle when they're on the floor! And my boy, Michael? What can I say? He just makes me smile when I see the concentration and the pure joy on his face. I love them all dearly but Michael's the one who's got my vote! This week, in a close, close contest, it was the lovely Katie's turn to go home, even though we got to see her sassy hidden domme within (and believe me, she was SPICY HOT!). It's getting harder and harder to watch contestants leave the show - I just want everyone to win; is that so bad??

On the work-out front, be proud of me, fellow fitness/weight loss journeypeople - I went to Zumba at Dance SPA. This was my first Tuesday class and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Joe was going to be there today, too! This was another "hustle on over" day because I get off work at 5:30 and......................Zumba starts at 5:30! So I'm about 15 minutes late but not to worry because I get a 45 minute workout and then, when Zumba's over, it's time for the Ab Lab. Now, let me tell you something about the Ab Lab class. It's only 20 minutes long but it's intense. And it works your arms in addition to your abs. Which is why mine feel like rubber tonight. We did push ups. Wall push ups. Which, normally, you would think "WIMP!" However, Christa told us "I know this sounds easy but I promise, promise, promise you - by the end of this song, you're going to hate me!" Well. I don't hate her. I couldn't! But I think my biceps might just a little bit. They'll get over it when I look like a skinny, sexy diva with toned arms.

Abs.... hm. How do I begin to tell you how difficult the ab exercises were for me? Let's put it this way. I haven't done a sit up in....hm. 16 years? Something like that. So here's how it went down:

[6:30] Song one starts. We do crunches. I think, "okay! not too bad - I can do this!"
[6:35] Song ends, Christa says, "WOOO! Great job, everyone! Now we're gonna do 15 more minutes of that!" I want to kill someone but I'm in too much pain to move.
[6:36] Song two starts. We do some sort of thing where you lie on your back with your legs in the air and scissor kick your legs until they're almost to the floor then scissor kick them back up again. I swear I'm not making this up - each time I moved my legs up and down, my back felt like I was lying on bubble wrap. "kick-pop!pop!pop!-kick-pop!pop!pop!" and so on. I didn't finish that exercise but did crunches while everyone else was scissoring away.
[6:40] Aforementioned wall push-ups. I think, "pfff, THESE I can do. Easy-peasy!" (when will I ever learn?)
[6:43] My arms did, in fact, hate her a little I think.

Here's the really amazing thing about working out so hard, though. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, my brain and my body argue throughout the ENTIRE class. BUT! When it's all said and done, I actually feel kind of great when I walk out that door. I think to myself, "I did it! I'm doing it! Lookitme, Lookitme, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" and I look at Joe and think about how proud I am of him because he's doing it too! And, looking around the room at all of these wonderful people who are at so many different levels. They come back week after week and they're doing it, too!

This week, Joe and I signed up for the Dance SPA Zumba Challenge. I wrote about it in an earlier blog post but, for $249, you get unlimited Zumba, Zumba Toning, Ab Labs and Bollywood on the Fly classes plus a whoooooole bunch of other activities, too. I'm really excited about the kick-off party this Sunday at 1pm. A guest consultant will be on hand with some really cool device that measures your water, fat and muscle in your body. I'm also getting weighed in - I haven't had a scale in years and I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. Time to face up to it and see where I'm at in order to find out how far I've got to go, right? I'm ready, scale. Let's do this!

One last thing... when I came online today, I saw the neatest surprise: I won a blogger award! How cool is that?? Look, here it is!



I'm really excited about this and can't wait to pass it forward. There are instructions I need to follow so I'll make sure I post this all correctly tomorrow when I get home from work. Meanwhile, thank you thank you thank you, Chrissie, for this award! By the way, if you're reading my blog and want to check out another phenomenal blogger's weight loss journey, be sure to stop by Chrissie's blog. It's much more colourful than mine and has lots of pictures. You'll like it, I promise!

Speaking of pictures, I leave you with one more photo. Here's what Joe has to say about how we feel toward the end of our Zumba classes (I agree with him):



HAHAHA! Just kidding (mostly)! We love Christa, we love our classmates and we love Zumba, too!


Love and a buncha other good things,

Kelley
xoxo